


Smash Fighters In Quarantine

by Wings_Of_Innocence



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: #BLM, Black Lives Matter, Coronavirus, F/F, F/M, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I have no idea where this fic is going, LGBTQ Themes, Link is not mute, M/M, Memes, Multi, OOCness, Quarantine, Song Lyrics, Song Parody, Yaoi, byleth teachs an online class, crackfic, everyone is edgy and gay, fangirl trash, kpop, mentions of jojo, mentions of pewdipie, no one understands the concept of social distancing, samus is a weeb, this has officially become a kpop fanfic, wario is a toilet paper hog, what am I doing with my life, yandere corrin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24133036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wings_Of_Innocence/pseuds/Wings_Of_Innocence
Summary: Corona has infected over 3 000 000 people. So it's my job to entertain the gamers stuck at home. Anyways, have you ever wondered what your smash mains do stuck at home? Nope? Well, you'll find out either way, plus I've strapped you to this chair so you can't escape okay thanks bai-
Relationships: Chrom/My Unit | Reflet | Robin, Dark Pit/Pit (Kid Icarus), Link/Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Lucina/My Unit | Kamui | Corrin, Mario/Peach Toadstool, Marth/Roy (Fire Emblem), My Unit | Reflet | Robin/Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles), Princess Daisy/Luigi, Samus Aran/Ike (Fire Emblem)
Comments: 69
Kudos: 84





	1. Bitch Lasagna

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspiration to write this from my friends on discord. Shout out to them. Feel free to request characters and ships in the comments. Also, chapters will probably be short. And I may stop writing this after COVID-19 ends, whenever that happens.

Samus stepped out the mansion despite Master Hand forbidding everyone from leaving the premise. Well she WAS wearing her suit which is fully sealed and can survive the vacuum of space, so what can the virus do to her? 

"Heh, take that Goddess," she said with a chuckle.

Earlier, Palutena was flexing about the fact she was a goddess and that gods never got sick unlike humans, so she can go outside whenever she wanted. Could they really not? Who knows, Palutena is a nutjob anyways. So the bounty huntress decided to step outside for a walk fully armed to prove Palutena wrong.

Unfortunately, her victory was short lived, because no one else was outside other than Samus. Makes sense, cause it was easy to get infected. And since the death toll is nearly a hundred thousand, why risk it? 

Being the only one out didn't bother Samus because she was alone all her life (cough cough, RIDLEY). Then again, she has been enjoying other people's company. Lucina and Zelda for instance are good people to talk to. Calm, caring and very intelligent, they make good acquaintances. Pit as well. Sure, he may be naive and a little obnoxious, but he's fun to talk to. And to play Mario Kart with.

After strolling the streets of Florida for an hour or so, Samus decided to return to the mansion, only for her to be rushed by a wave of water. Taking a closer look, the main hall was being Hydro Pumped by Greninja, with Ike running after him. 

Oh boy, what happened now?

Samus didn't have time to ask because Crazy Hand in a blue rubber glove appeared and Thanos-snapped the water away (yes, I actually referred to Thanos so kill me).

"grEnINjA, gO bAck tO yOUR RooM!" Crazy exclaimed in a distorted voice.

"Ninja!" the frog shot back before running out the hall while flipping off Crazy Hand.

"tHE sAme gOes tO yOu tWO!" the hand said, pointing to Ike and Samus.

Rolling her eyes, Samus walked back to her room, shoved her suit in the closet (not that kinda closet, she's straight okay?) and changed into her pajamas. Flopping back onto her bed, she pulled out her phone to see she had over a hundred notifications from Peach and Marth- Tik Tok, Instagram, Twitter, you name it. Why she even had them on social media, she wasn't sure. Samus was about to fall asleep when someone started knocking on her door. Groaning in frustration, she jumped up and answered it only to see a certain blue-haired mercenary holding a tray of lasagna (BITCH LASAGNA).

"I made pasta?" Ike said awkwardly with a small smile, though it came out like a question.

Samus was about to let him in, only to hold her hand out in a stop sign. The whole point of quarantine is to prevent getting others infected with the Coronavirus, so the best course of action is to stay inside, isolated from other. But that lasagna looks great...

"Did you wash your hands?" Samus asked, leaning against the doorframe. 

"Five times, in the past half hour." Ike said with a smile.

Well, he WAS wearing gloves. And looked clean.

"Leave your shoes at the entrance." she said as she held the door for him. Ike nodded, kicked off his Adidas and walked in, placing the tray on the table.

"What was going on with you and Greninja?" Samus asked.

"He wanted to turn Smash Mansion into a pool AGAIN and I was trying to stop him." Ike explained.

Ah. That was something normal on a Tuesday morning. When will the frog give up his dream of water haven?

"So, what have you been up to?" he asked sitting down on the sofa, more than seven feet away from Samus.

"Asides from getting bombarded with dumb memes, nothing." she answered nonchalantly. "You?"

"Netflix. And learning to cook from online classes from Chef Kawaski." he said, mentioning to the pasta.

"I see."

Silence. And then-

**gRUmbLE**

Samus blushed and looked down at her stomach in embarrassment. Ike chuckled and walked to the kitchen to grab plates and cutlery. "Riverdale?"

Samus picked up the remote and shook her head. "No bootleg Archie. How about Jojo?"

Ike returned with two plates of mouth-watering pasta. "Sounds good to me." he said, sitting ten feet away from her. You know, social distancing?

But before Samus could play the anime, someone started pounding on the door. Face palming, Samus got up again and opened the door to see Nintendo's mascot with a stupid grin on his face.

"I heard-a there was-a lasagna here?" Mario asked.

Samus slammed the door on his face and walked back to Ike. "Jojo can wait, time to make an anti-Mario sign. Because no Italian plumber touches my lasagna."


	2. Online Classes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Byleth tries to teach and online class and fails. Dark Pit is edgy as usual and Wario steals toilet paper.

Although he was usually cool as a cucumber, Byleth was pissed off. Because why wouldn't he be when he's trying to teach an online class that is full of madlads?

"Sylvian, quit your flirting! Hilda, stop trying to pressure your classmates into flirting for you! And Leonie no one likes you so just shut up!" Byleth snapped (clarification, I barely know anything about Three Houses, it's just that my friends on Discord hate Leonie so this is for them :p And I apologize for any OOCness. Actually, I don't, its a crackfic).

In an instant, everyone stopped talking. Byleth gasped and buried his hands in face.

"Sorry, it's just that quarantine, being a professor and Smash is stressing me out." he muttered as he looked up.

His students mumbled responses, a mix of apologies, questions about Byleth's life in Smash and Leonie checking if people really do hate her. Which they probably do. Fuck you, Leonie.

"Anyways, let's get back on topic. Who knows the answer to question ten?" Byleth asked out loud.

Ferdinand stood up and cleared his throat. "Of course, I Ferdinand von Aeiger knows the answer! I am magnificent! Allow me to answer the question like a true nobleman!" he boasted

As soon as he said that, everyone other than Byleth started yelling at him. Byleth stood up and picked up the airhorn Shulk had him hold on for him. Why? Who knows, that Homs kid is on something.

**hONK! (Yes, this is how I'm gonna write all sound effects)**

Once again, everyone shut up. Huh, that really was more effective than he thought. Maybe he should use the airhorn more often?

"Thank you Ferdinand. I understand you are quite intelligent, but perhaps you should give someone else a turn?" Byleth suggested as he sat down.

Well that's one way to cause a panic. Because everyone's eyes widened as soon as those words left Byleth's mouth and they started shouted random things out- in fact someone shouted something about the ice cream truck arriving, although Byleth couldn't tell who thanks to the chaos. Anyways, who would get ice cream from some sketchy truck when a fatal virus is going around?

Byleth facepalmed. Clearly, no asides Ferdinand bothered working on the assignment. Was there even any point trying to continue teaching this class? Well, at least it couldn't get any worse.

Or so he thought. Because the icing on the cake happened. _TELL ME HOW YOU'RE SLEEPING EASY_ _HOW YOU'RE ONLY THINKING OF YOURSELF_ _SHOW ME HOW YOU JUSTIFY_ _TELLING ALL YOUR LIES LIKE SECOND NATURE (this format is killing me curse you AO3 asdfghj-)_

Oh.

My.

Sothis.

There was only one person in the entire mansion who would blast edgy trash in the middle of a lesson (Its not actually trash at all, I love Set It Off). Well, they probably didn't know about Byleth teaching class in the first place, but he was already frustrated so they were about to face his wrath. Byleth disconnected from the Google Meet - which his students were probably happy about - pulled a mask over his face, slapped some gloves on his hands and grabbed a bottle of Lysol before stepping out.

Byleth stormed towards his "victim's" door which had a piece of paper taped to it which read "Don't you dare kick my door down".

Needless to say, Byleth practically High Jumped Kicked the door down. Never piss off a teacher if you wanna see the next day, my children. Dark Pit jumped ten feet in the air as soon as Byleth did. "Dude, what the fuck?!" He exclaimed.

Byleth simply glared at him and walked in. "Explain," He boomed.

Dark Pit looked back at his door. "Are you like Pit or something? Because you clearly can't read." he said nonchalantly. 

_LISTEN, MARK MY WORDS, ONE DAY_

_YOU WILL PAY, YOU WILL-_

Byleth yanked the speaker out of the outlet and yeeted it out the window (YEET).

"The Hell is wrong with you?!" Dark Pit yelled. "Lucina gave me that for my birthday!"

"I. don't. care. Listen edgelord, why would you blast your garbage when I'm trying to teach a bunch of sarcastic toddlers combat?" (Got inspiration from my Grade 9 English teacher :D) Byleth demanded

"Edgy? Now you're insulting me?" the dark angel shot back.

Byleth rolled his eyes. "You are edgy. Exhibit A: your taste in music. Exhibit B: your taste in fashion," he said, mentioning to the leather jacket and ripped jeans Dark Pit had on. "Exhibit C: your behavior. And Exhibit D, your room." he finished, pointing at the heavy metal posters, thick black curtains and black bed sheets. "I rest my case."

Dark Pit blushed and looked away. "Alright fine. But what gives you the right to burst into my room and damage my property?" he pressed.

"Oh, I don't know. What gives you the right to play music on max volume when I'm teaching an online class?" Byleth calmly shot back.

"You think I knew you were busy?! Anyways, why not wear some headphones if your so bothered?!"

"I don't have headphones! And even if I did, they still wouldn't block out the background sound."

"Okay, who cares about school in the first place?! The pandemic is a lot more important than that!"

"Speaking of which, aren't you supposed to be class right now-"

**fArT!**

The two men stopped arguing to see Wario standing in the doorway with a wheelbarrow of toilet paper.

"Toilet paper! Get your toilet paper! Only for $39.99!" he exclaimed with a burp.

Byleth and Dark Pit were stunned. Was this guy seriously going around selling paper for forty bucks?

"Stop him!" A voice cried. Wario yelped and ran away with his wheel barrow. Stepping in the hall, the two saw Pit and Roy running after the fat Italian salesperson with a megaphone. The light angel and the prince stopped in front of the professor and dark angel to catch their breath.

"Hey babe, what happened?" Dark Pit asked Pit, kissing his cheek (I'M SHIPPING MY OTP IN THIS YOU CAN'T STOP ME-)

"Wario happened! He shoplifted those rolls!" Pit exclaimed.

"A-and if we don't stop him, he'll sell them for twenty times the price! People are dying and all he cares about is becoming rich!" Roy added.

Byleth and Dark Pit glanced at each other before nodding.

"Lead the way, we'll stop him together." Byleth declared.

So the four of them ran after Wario who was blasting the Coronavirus song -the Hatsune Miku one to be specific- ignoring Mario's cries of pain.

"Huh, those lasers are more effective than I thought," Samus muttered as she took a bite of her lasagna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me forever to write this... And the song is Wolf In Sheep's Clothing by Set It Off. And the lyrics DIDN'T. COME. OUT. THE. WAY. I. WANTED.


	3. An Unhealthy Obbsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna say, Yandere Simulator sucks ass. It's been like 7 years and Osana isn't even done. Plus, is it really necessary to make a ecchi mod of Hitman?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've seen way to many Yandere Corrin fics, so I made one. Also, I actually saw some over priced hand sanitizer today.

_My precious Exalt, you are too good for this world. Your blue hair and eyes remind me of the ocean. Your scent is of a spring morning. Your voice has the sound of a songbird. I watch almost every hour and now I have even more time to do so thanks to quarantine. I have memorized your schedule dawn to dusk. I have an entire album full of photos of your elegance. I also possess a shrine of your possessions. You don't mind my dear, do you? Oh, I want to lock you up in a bird cage so no one can put a finger on you. I want to exterminate every fiend who looks at you ugtydardebjdkgbwli- ___

____

What's with the random letters, you ask? Well, that was Corrin's reaction to someone knocking her door, slamming her head on the keyboard in surprise. Yes, it's 2020 so no one writes love letters by hand anymore. Corrin took a deep breath and saved her progress before hurrying to the door to reveal Red standing at the entrance.

"Can I help you? I'm in the middle of something. And seven feet please." Corrin said.

Red rose an eyebrow before stepping back and holding out a familiar notebook. "Is this yours? It has your name on it." he asked. 

Corrin yelped and snatched the notebook from him. "H-how much did you read?!" she stuttered.

"No... why would I?" Red asked in confusion.

"No reason, thanks for returning this, bye!" Corrin exclaimed before slamming the door on his face.

"What the heck was that..." Red muttered as he left, since he's too innocent to say fuck or Hell.

Corrin flopped on her bed in relief. Good thing Red didn't read her journal containing her feelings for Lucina, as well as some of her murderous thoughts. If he did though, Corrin might have to "punish" him later on... 

Shaking her head, the dragon princess shoved her journal in her desk drawer and went back to writing her stalkerish letter. When she was done, she turned into a dragon, flew out the window to Lucina's window and slipped the letter through it. She waited for the princess to arrive. Finally around lunch, Lucina walked into her room, shouting something about Wario offering her overpriced toilet paper, only to pause and notice the folded piece of paper near her window still. Corrin gasped and quickly flew out of view and took a peak to see Lucina reading the letter. When Lucina started her face was neutral, then she smiled, then she frowned and finally smiled again. 

Did she think it was cute or was she freaked out? Corrin couldn't tell because of her facial expressions. Well, she smiled quite a bit. That was a good sign, right? Corrin kept watching Lucina, who was doing nothing other than texting. Unfortunately, Corrin couldn't read her texts from her window. Sighing, the Manakete returned to her room. Suddenly, she was hit by a thought.

"IS LUCINA EVEN LESBO?!" she cried out loud (Gay or European-). 

Silence.

But it was an important question. Was her beloved even gay? If she's straight, that would make this a thousand times harder. How do you force some to change their sexuality? Maybe some "bonding time" would help... 

**knOcK knOcK**

Corrin jumped up and opened the door only for her heart to skip a beat when she saw who was at the door. 

Yep, it was the Princess of Edginess, Lucina Lowell. Shit, did she figure out Corrin wrote the letter?

"Have you seen Robin? We're going to get groceries for those who are to scared to step outside." Lucina asked.

At that moment, Corrin's heart cracked.

Robin?

Robin?!

ROBIN?! 

Why would Lucina go out with Robin instead of her?! They aren't together, are they?

Corrin pinched herself to prevent going all psycho and faked a smile. "Y-yeah. I saw him on the rooftop. Drinking tea or something." she answered.

Lucina nodded. "Thank you, Lady Corrin." she said as she left.

Corrin waved before grabbing Yato and heading down the hall. As much as she hated lying to her crush, she had to get her far away from Robin as possible who was probably in his room reading. Corrin kicked down the door, startling Robin and causing him to roll into his blanket, turning himself into a burrito blanket (I love burrito blankets).

"Corrin?! Why'd you do-" 

**thUMP**

Before he could finish his sentence, Corrin smacked the back of his head with a trophy. She dragged his body all the way to the basement. No one questioned it, because they probably thought Robin passed out drunk or something. When she finally got to the basement, she tied Robin's hands and feet together before splashing water on him.

"Blublublublblub- Corrin what the fuck?!" he exclaimed as he sputtered water only to gulp when he saw Corrin's murderous expression.

"Why is Lucina going out with you instead of me?" she asked calmly.

Robin shrugged. "Because I'm her best friend...?" he asked only to yelp when Corrin stabbed Yato a few centimeters away from him.

"Lucina's mine. NO. ONE. CAN. HAVE. HER." she gritted through her teeth (snap mode am I right?). "I should be her best friend... no her lover."

"Whoa whoa whoa, when did I say I liked Luci?"

"You're calling her "Luci" now?"

"I always did, what's your problem?"

"My problem? My problem?!" Corrin snapped. "It's that you like her and are going to confess to her soon! I just know it!" 

"Someone plays too much Yandere Simulator..." Robin muttered under his breath.

"So since you're in the way, I must eliminate you. Well, time to die. Any last words?" Corrin hissed.

"Yeah... you do realize Luci is right behind you right?" He answered.

Corrin gasped and turned around to see Lucina with her arms crossed. "L-lucina! I-it's not what it looks like I-I swear!" Corrin stuttered.

Lucina rolled eyes. "Yeah, I totally didn't hear the entire conversation. You know, the one about you murdering Rob?" she said nonchalantly.

Corrin was at a loss for words. "How did you find me...?" she slowly asked.

Lucina shrugged. "He wasn't on the roof and Bowser was complaining about tripping over "drunk mage being dragged downstairs by dragon lady" or something." she explained air quoting the Koopa (Bowser best boy by the way. Actually no, Robin is).

That snitch! 

"So if you heard the whole conversation, you heard the part about me liking you?" Corrin muttered in shame.

Lucina nodded. "I'm surprised you feel that way about me Corrin. I-"

"Hate me?" Corrin interrupted. "So you're going to break my heart and go out with him?!" she sobbed.

"What? No I was going to-"

Before Lucina could finish her sentence, Corrin pinned her to the wall with her swordpoint to the bluette's neck. "If I can't have you, then no one can. Guess that means I'll have to kill you both."

Lucina frowned. "I'm going to presume you wrote the letter. Well, typed. No one uses paper anymore." she half joked. "But before you kill us off, can you drop the flaming-chainsaw for a second? There's something I'd like to tell you first." Lucina asked (Get it, cause that's what Yato literally is).

Confused, Corrin threw Yato aside. What could she possibly have to say? "Okay, so now wha- mmf?!" This time, Lucina was the one to cut Corrin off. By pressing her lip's against Corrin's (aka a KISS you crackheads).

At that moment, Corrin started mentally freaking out. And fangirling. But what the Hell?! Did that mean she- nah, it was probably just to buy time. Well all the Manakete could do during the situation was kiss back. She mewled in reaction, causing herself to become even more flustered (a mewl is basically a tiny moan, like a whimper). 

When Lucina finally pulled away, Corrin could barely find her words. Lucina chuckled and patted her head. "I like you too, Lady Corrin, but you didn't have to do all this." She said, mentioning to Robin.

"B-but you're straight!" Corrin stuttered.

"Bisexual. I like guys and girls."she corrected.

Oh. She didn't think about that. Never presume someone's sexuality, my dudes.

"Okay, now that you two confessed to each other, could you please untie me? There's something I have to clear up!" Robin called.

Corrin sighed and cut open the ropes. Robin jumped up and pointed accusingly to Corrin. 

"First, never do that to me ever again. Second, how can I like Lucina if I'm gay?!" he demanded.

What?

Robin shook his head. "Honestly, I thought you guys knew that this story is an excuse for the author's ships to come together," he muttered.

Lucina laughed. "Oh yeah, the author is a braindead fangirl with nothing better to do. ANYWAYS, you guys wanna burn every copy of Fortnite in the mansion? We can have a big indoor bonfire." Lucina suggested.

"Yes!" Corrin exclaimed happily, clinging onto Lucina's arm.

Lucina smiled and started to leave the basement only for-

**bUrP**

Wario dashed downstairs with his wheelbarrow. "Hide me, they're coming- oh my fat ass!

Too late, Roy, Pit and Dark Pit tackled him, causing the wheelbarrow to crash into the wall. Byleth picked up the megaphone Pit dropped and pulled the trigger.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him." Byleth said with a smirk.


	4. The Cop, The Doctor And The Gay Crackheads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bowser as a cop seemed like a good prompt. And I'm sure you noticed by now, but no one seems to understand the concept of social distancing. So I put both ideas in one chapter. Also, this is my longest chapter yet, so prepare yourselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The part with Ness was inspired by something that happened on our Discord server. A user was chewing on her mechanical pencil only for it to get stuck in her braces. It eventually came out when she scratched it, BUT she didn't learn her lesson, so you can guess what happened XD. But shout out to her.

"Can I hear the what happened one more time?" Bowser asked.

As a response, he got everyone talking over each other. And Pit eating Cheetos. And a murderous glare from Corrin. And Wario farting. Bowser facepalmed and groaned in frustration.

"How are we gonna solve this if no one shuts up?" he muttered.

"Not to-a worry. I have-a just the thing." Mario said (I like to think of Mario and Doctor Mario as the same person). He reached into his lab coat and pulled out a familiar object.

hONK!

Everyone instantly stopped talking to see Mario with an air horn. Mario let out a sigh of satisfaction and put down the infamous horn down. 

"Perfect-a! Take it-a away, Bowser." Mario said with a grin.

"Thank you, Mario. Now that that's settled, let's deal with this like civilized people." Bowser declared. "First, let's get any million dollar questions you little shits have over with. AND. RAISE. YOUR. HANDS."

In an instant, everyone’s hands were up. Bowser scanned the group for a moment before choosing a fighter. “Robin?”

“Why exactly are we here?” Robin asked.

“Because you-a dragged Wario to the police station accusing him-a of commiting a crime and-a they didn’t give a fuck. Specifically, Pit, Pittoo, Byleth and-a Roy did. So-a Bowser will-a help you guys instead.” Mario explained. “Next?”

Everyone rose their hands again. Bowser eeny-meenie-miny-moed the group before his finger finally landed on Dark Pit. “Pittoo?”

“First, that’s not my name. Second, why the Hell are we in glass boxes?” he asked, tapping the glass (CAUSE I’M TAP TAP TAPPING THE GLASS. I’M WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW~ Please tell me you guys get the reference).

Byleth, Corrin, Dark Pit, Lucina, Pit, Robin, Roy and Wario were each in glass cubes, isolated from each other.

“We prefer calling them cubicles. Also, none of you brats seem to understand the concept of social distancing, so in case any of you have the virus, the cubicles will prevent you from infecting each other.” Bowser answered. “Anyone else?”

This time, Mario was the one to pick the next person. “Hm... Wario?” Mario chose while fanning the “gas” Wario produced.

“Who made Bowser a cop?” Wario demanded, pointing to the Koopa’s police uniform.

“That’s pandemic officer. I volunteered to take up the job of making sure you retards would stay in your room.”

“Since when?”

“Since half an hour ago. ANYWAYS, are you guys done?”

“No, I’ve got a something important to ask of you. Why is Mario rubbing his feet and shoulders?” Byleth asked with concern.

Mario laughed nervously. “Eh, no-a reason,” he muttered, recalling the lasers Samus triggered on him when he attempted to “borrow” her lasagna. “So, can we-a move onto the interrogation?” Mario suggested.

“Right after you tell me why my cubicle is not next to my dearest Lucina,” Corrin hissed.

Bowser rolled his eyes. “We’ve put you guys in alphabetical order. You can make out with your girlfriend after with figure things out.” he answered.

“But that’s unacceptable! I must be by my precious Lucina! Or else someone will get hurt...” Corrin growled.

Lucina muttered an apology to Bowser and Mario before turning to Corrin with a soft smile. “Don’t worry, babe. We can spend time together after they finish their business with us.” She said.

“Okay.” Corrin answered happily (that how you deal with a Yandere, my dudes).

Bowser took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together. “Okay, who wants to give their testimony first?” Bowser asked out loud.

“Me, me, me!” Roy exclaimed. 

The Koopa cop sighed and shook his head. “Sure, why not. Tell us your side of the story, Roy.” 

“Yes!” Roy exclaimed, jumping up in Mario’s classic pose. “Okay. So Pit and I were bored as Hell so we decided to go mess around in Walmart. We were trying on some of the sweet looking masks they had on display. I mean, they looked really cool! One was covered with flaming skulls, another had mermaid sequins, and there was-“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold-a the phone!” Mario interrupted You’re telling me you-a two were trying on display masks?” He slowly asked.

“Thash rish,” Pit answered with a mouthful of Cheetos (I wanna have Cheetos now...).

Mario couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He blinked and put a hand on his hip all sassy-like. “And it-a didn’t occur to you that OTHER people would have-a worn those masks?” he added.

Roy shrugged. “Of course we knew that. What’s the big deal?” he asked in confusion.

The doctor and the Koopa facepalmed at his stupidity. “You fool, what-a if someone who had-a the virus put on one of-a the masks?!” Mario snapped (that’s an oof-).

Pit choked on his Cheetos. “W-wait what?!” he stuttered.

“Sksksksk.” Someone said (Do you say it? Or make a sound?), but Bowser couldn’t tell who (and I oop-).

Mario sighed and unlocked Pit and Roy’s cubicle doors, letting them out. The two stepped forward while Mario pulled out a syringe, inserted a needle and rolled up Roy’s sleeve. 

“What are you doing- OW IT HURTS!” Roy cried as Mario drew blood.

“Hey, it is-a your fault for-a putting on those masks!” Mario scolded. “Pit, you’re-a next.” He ordered while putting a Bandaid on a now teary Roy.

Pit gulped. “I’ll pass.” He said meekly.

Bowser shook his head. “No, since all seven of you came in contact with each other, we have to take your blood samples to make sure none of you have caught the virus,” He said. “Anyways Roy, continue your story.”

“Right,” the Young Lion quickly said, running back into his cubicle. “Anyways, we strolled around the store for an hour or so and we’re about to leave, only to notice Wario.”

“And he seemed fatter than usual!” Pit blurted out.

“Shut up, shorty!” Wario shot back.

“HEY!” Bowser yelled. The two instantly shushed. “If you morons keep bitching, we’ll be stuck in here for a long time.”

Robin had completely zoned out by this point and was roasting gamers on YouTube. Good thing the guy had his phone on him.

“Like I was saying,” Roy continued. “We tried to say hi to him, only for him to quickly push a cart out the door, triggering an alarm. And the bastard’s cart was full of stolen toilet paper!” He exclaimed, pointing accusingly at the shady businessman.

“Objection! How do you know they were stolen?!” Wario hissed.

“Hold it! Why else would the alarms go off?” Pit pressed.

“When did this turn into Ace Attorney?” Dark Pit wondered out loud (by the way, I memorized the entire main theme with lyrics by Brentendo).

“Excuse me?” a child’s voice called.

Everyone turned to see Ness standing in the doorway with a led pencil sticking out of his mouth. Wait what-

“Hey squirt, we’re in the middle of something. Fuck off.” Bowser snapped, moving his hand in a shooing motion.

“But I’ve got a mechanical pencil stuck in my braces.” Ness said.

NANI?!

Silence. Then Lucina spoke up.

“Are you kidding me?” she asked.

“Promise I’m not,” Ness said with a smile.

“Yeah, I have so many questions. Like, how does one get a pencil stuck in their braces?!” Dark Pit demanded.

Ness shrugged. "I don't know. It's kind of a hobby of mine to get something stuck in my mouth once a week." he answered.

“Pfft, big deal. I get something stuck up my ass once a day." Wario said.

Everyone stared at him. Mario rolled his eyes and walked up to Ness. "I will-a take it out. Just give-a me a moment..." he muttered as he stuck his hands inside Ness's mouth (He was wearing gloves), before pulling them out... and punching Ness in the jaw!

Ness yelped as he fell on his ass. When he did, Robin finally looked up from his phone. The led pencil had fallen a few inches away from him. Ness moaned in pain as he stroked his now aching jaw.

"There we-a go! It's out!" Mario exclaimed with triumph. "You may-a leave now Ness."

Ness muttered a thank you and walked out the room. There were many other ways Mario could have removed the pencil, but Mario decided to be a savage to poor Ness and One-Punched his mouth. Well, that's Mario for you.

"Okay, now that that's dealt with, let's get back on topic. Wario, it's clear as a cloudless summer day that you shoplifted those rolls of toilet paper rolls. What's your reason for doing so?" Bowser demanded.

"I wanted to sell them to people in the neighborhood who were too scared to leave their house." Wario answered innocently. "Ain't I a good citizen for doing charity work?"

"But what kind of charity charges money for goods- not to mention forty bucks?!" Pit exclaimed.

"Yeah, you can get fined for selling hygiene products for an unreasonable price." Byleth added.

"What's the big deal? I get my cash, they get their paper." Wario said. "Isn't that smart?"

Mario and Bowser exchanged looks. Clearly the fatass wasn't getting it. Suddenly, Bowser was struck with an idea. He whispered it in Mario's ear, who thought about it, before giving the Koopa a thumbs up.

"We've come to a conclusion," Bowser declared. "You will be charged over ten million dollars for stealing those rolls of toilet paper from Walmart and reselling them for a high price."

"T-t-ten million bucks?!" Wario shrieked. "I don't have that kind of money!"

Bowser put his hand in a stop sign. "I wasn't finished. Normally, that's what would happen, but here's the deal. You sell the toilet paper to everyone in the neighborhood for only fifty cents and you'll be off the hook. Plus, they'll get their toilet paper and you get your cash, just like you said." He explained. "Sound good?" (Bowser would make a good sales person with his deals)

Wario was about to protest, only to stop himself, deciding it was better than getting fined, or worse. "Alright fine. I'll hope right to it." He agreed solemnly.

"Let's-a go!" Mario exclaimed. he hurried to Wario's glass cube and unlocked it. "I will-a need a sample of your blood first." 

Wario whimpered in fear while Bowser opened the rest of the cubicles. 

"Come to my room Pit, we'll have a good time~" Dark Pit purred. Pit blushed madly at his suggestion.

"By the way, no one's fucking anyone." Bowser ordered. "You brats are going straight to your rooms and practicing social distancing. Or should I enforce that law?"

Corrin and Dark Pit started to protest, only to zip it when Bowser pulled the trigger on the air horn again. "Gay crackheads," he muttered.

"Seven feet," Mario reminded as he took Lucina's blood. "We don't-a want the virus to spread now, do-a we?"

When all seven fighters gave their blood samples and left, Mario sighed with relief. "Time to-a send these to the lab." Mario muttered before tossing a bundle of cash to Bowser (MOOLA).

"Aw sweet!" Bowser exclaimed as he caught it. "We really make a good team, don't we?" 

Mario chuckled and was about to leave, only for Ness to open the door, this time with two pencils sticking out of his mouth. "Doctor Mario? It happened again." he said.

Bowser and Mario facepalmed and groaned in frustration again.


	5. Let's Form A Kpop Group!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shulk pressures the gang to become Kpop Idols. This will turn out interestings...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me forever to type in the stupid lyrics-

Link and everyone else in the Discord group stared at Shulk with disbelief (They're talking via video chat). "Shulk... can you please repeat what you just said?" he slowly asked.

"Let's form a Kpop group!" Shulk exclaimed enthusiastically.

Ike burst out laughing. "This dude literally repeated the chapter's title!" he wheezed, only to look up to see the Homs wasn't laughing. "Oh no, he's serious." He whispered.

Robin shook his head. "I ain't doing it," he said bluntly.

"Yeah, and how are we gonna sing and dance together if we're supposed to be social distancing?" Pit pointed out.

"Also I can't sing. Or dance." Marth added.

Shulk rolled his eyes. "You guys don't need to do any of that. All we need is Photoshop, autotune, cute names and edgy outfits." he sassed.

"Can you guys not use the word edgy? Because it's a derogatory term..." Dark Pit muttered under his breath.

"He wasn't saying it to you specifically. Besides, some of us can actually dance here, no need to photoshop." Roy said with a smirk. "Watch and learn boys."

Roy stood up, stepped back, put Kill This Love on Spotify, took off his jacket... and believe it or not, did the song's choreography flawlessly! It was like this dude had the moves implanted in his DNA (Get it, the song by BTS?)! In fact, Roy didn't even break a sweat while doing the whole thing. When he was finally finished, Roy took a swig of Rockstar and sat down before dabbing.

"My mom is a dancer, bitches. So, feedback...?" he asked with a wink.

Nearly everyone was speechless. Finally, Sheik spoke up. "You looked gay," he said with a giggle.

Roy pouted and crossed his arms. "Well, let's see what you've got then Mr. Sheikah." he sassed.

"Challenge accepted." Sheik said before cracking his knuckles and standing up. "Alexa, play Mic Drop." he ordered. 

Five seconds later, Sheik's usually emo self was replaced with an energetic break dancer. In fact, he was even lip syncing. Shulk whistled in reaction. A couple minutes, Sheik was panting and all sweaty.

"Hot," Marth whispered.

"You're drooling," Link laughed. Marth flipped him off for that. "That aside, you were actually good dude!" he said, giving the Sheikah a thumbs up.

"T-thanks." Sheik said with a blush.

"See what I mean now?!" Shulk exclaimed. "If we do this, girls will be thirsting over us in no time!"

"Uh, Shulk? Most of us here are gay," Dark Pit said. "So if some chick was thirsting over me, it would be pointless."

"And since we're not Korean, we'll butcher the pronunciation of the lyrics and embarrass ourselves" Ike added (lol me).

"But it is a good idea. Sounds really fun." Pit said with a smile.

"What we really need now is one more good dancer to distract the audience from our chicken dance," Marth declared.

**bEH bOOP**

"Oh look, someone by the name TheFoolOfHearts69 joined our server and our call," Robin said (That's actually the username of one of my Wattpad friends, he tends to roleplay as Joker and genderbend Himiko Toga. Go check him out!).

A few seconds later, Akira appeared on screen. "Hey guys," he greeted shyly (AKIRA IS A BETTER NAME THAN REN, YOU CAN FIGHT ME-).

"Joker!" Roy shouted out. "We were just talking about starting a Kpop group. Want to join?"

"WE AIN'T DOING A KPOP GROUP!" Link, Marth, Ike, Robin and Dark Pit yelled at the same time Pit, Sheik and Shulk cried "YES PLEASE JOIN US!"

Akira slowly moved away from the screen. "Well, I'm an okay singer and dancer. You want me to show you guys?" He asked, feeling pressured by the other fighters.

"Sure, go ahead," Shulk said warmly.

"Okay..." Akira muttered, standing up and playing something on Spotify (Hey, Spotify is good. I wouldn't mind getting Premium). Clap by Seventeen began to play. Let's just say if the boys thought Roy and Sheik were good, Akira clapped them (Get it? No? asdfghjkl). He was even singing it! When he finished, he looked even hotter than Sheik did.

"Well..?" Akira waited for everyone to give him feedback.

Instantly, everyone started vibing. Guess they liked it.

"Everyone, we're doing this! No buts or whatsoever!" Shulk declared. "Go change into something edgy-slash-sexy, then Roy, Akira and Sheik will teach you how to dance. We'll also take singing lessons from Corrin and Kamui (male Corrin). I'm pretty sure Azura taught them how to sing."

"Wait, why do we have to teach these dumbasses how to-" Sheik started.

"I said shut up and get ready!" Shulk snapped.

"What happened to autotune and photoshop-" 

"Bitch, did I stutter?!" Shulk shot at Dark Pit.

Everyone groaned and left the call. When Shulk tells you to do something, you do it. Unless you want to get lectured by British boy, go right ahead, disobey him.

*LE TIME SKIP*

One week later, the boys were gathered backstage in typical Kpop outfits; band tees, leather jackets, dress shirts, Nike- you get the idea. Without masks, so imagine how risky that would be. People surprisingly showed up, including Zelda who was there to see Link, Robin's sister Robyn -who was probably there just to roast him on Twitter- with Chrom, Yoshi, Peach, Luigi, Ganondorf, Wolf, Mewtwo, Palutena -who was there for her "sons"- Lucas -please protect the boy from the world- and as well as Cloud.

"My anxiety levels have suddenly increased," Pit whispered, biting his nails.

"Babe, just breath," Dark Pit said, trying to reassure him, but truth be told, he was nervous as well.

"I'm starting to forgot the dance routine- dammit Roy! Can't you do anything right?!" the Young Lion scolded himself.

"Does anyone have chicken? That would really help now." Ike asked (we like Ike).

"Everyone, calm down!" Link whisper-yelled. "Look, this is our first time doing this. Sure, we might bomb this thing. We might make total fools of ourselves. But we'll never know if we don't try!" he lectured.

"You're scared as well, aren't you?" Robin asked.

"Of course I'm fucking scared! You seriously think I want to go out there and sing BTS songs?! I was practically forced into this by Monado Boy!" he snapped.

"Speaking of the devil, where is he?" Marth asked.

"I'M REALLY FEELING IT!!!!" Shulk cried as he ran towards the group. "Guys, I've got great news! Wario and Byleth volunteered to be sponsors!" he exclaimed.

"Cool," Akira said half-heartedly.

Shulk frowned. "Okay, why's everyone so emo?" He asked.

"Shulk, I don't we're up for this," Sheik said. "What if we screw up and become laughing stocks for the rest of our lives?"

Shulk facepalmed. "We're not gonna embarrass ourselves. And if we do, we're too hot for people to roast that easily." He sassed.

"Oh right," Everyone mused.

"So, you guys ready now?" Shulk asked.

"Sure," Robin muttered.

"Yeah," Marth said with a nod.

"Righto," Pit beamed.

"Can I get a "Hell Yeah"?" Shulk asked, with a grin.

"Hell yeah," the boys said in unison. Well, except Pit, he said "heck" instead.

"I can't hear you," Shulk encouraged.

"HELL YEAH!" they exclaimed ecstatically.

"What are we?!" Shulk demanded.

Everyone froze. It didn't occur to them until now to pick a name for their group.

"Don't worry fam, I've got it," Robin said with a smirk.

Onstage, Crazy Hand -who was still wearing a glove by the way- was anxiously waiting for his possibly new Kpop obsession to come on stage. Their first sponsor was good. Wario advertized toilet paper toilet paper for only fifty cents per roll. He ran out of his first batch in less than a minute. Byleth then hurried on stage.

"Hello there. I am Byleth and I have a question for you. Tell me, who hates Leonie here?" he asked.

Silence. Probably cause no one even knew who Leonie was.

"Well, if you do and want to share your hated with other people who hate her, then why not join the I Hate Leonie Club? We have our own Discord server, t-shirts, buttons, lanyards and everything!" he exclaimed.

"Do you give out free Chili Dogs?" Sonic yelled from the audience.

"No..." Byleth answered.

"Then I don't care," Sonic said bluntly.

Byleth gulped before cooly leaving the stage like nothing happened.

"wEll thAT WAs awKwARd," Crazy hand said with a nervous laugh. "jUsT wAIt A LITtlE lONgEr-"

Suddenly, the lights dimmed. A spotlight appeared on ten boys in edgy poses. The crowd was quiet. And then...

_"Ayo ladies and gentleman_

_Junbiga dwaessdamyeon bureulge yeah!_

_Ttan nyeoseokdeulgwaneun dareuge ___

___Nae seutaillo nae nae nae nae seutaillo!”_ _ _

Link sang while smoothly dancing (the song is Dope by BTS).

_"Bamsae ilhaessji everyday_

_Niga keulleobeseo nol ttae yeah_

_Ja nollaji malgo deureo maeil_

_I got a feel, I got a feel"_

Marth continued.

_"Nan jom jjeoreo!"_

everyone sang in unison before breakdancing.

The audience turned on glow sticks and went wild (wait, this isn't a Vocaloid concert!). The girls started fangirling. Well, excluding Robyn who was laughing her ass off while recording the whole thing.

"I want to marry them!" Zelda squealed.

"Same!" Lucina added, only to pause when she received a classic Yandere glare from Corrin. "Is what I would have said if I were a total loser!" She quickly added.

_"A jjeoreo jjeoreo jjeoreo uri yeonseupsil ttamnae_

_Bwa jjeoreong jjeoreong jjeoreonghan_

_Nae chumi daphae_

_Modu bisiri jjijiri jjingjjingi ttilttirideul_

_Narangeun sanggwani eopseo_

_Cuz nan huimangi jjeoreo haha"_

Robin rapped, only for Dark Pit to push him out of the way.

_"Ok urin meoributeo balkkeutkkaji jeonbu da_

_Jjeo jjeoreo_

_Haruui jeolbaneul jageobe jjeo jjeoreo_

_Jageopsire jjeoreo sareo cheongchuneun sseogeogado_

_Deokbune moro gado dallineun seonggonggado_

_Sonyeodeura deo keuge sorijilleo jjeo”_

The angel finished before quickly flipping off the crowd, which made the fangirls go crazier. 

"They're so cringe that they sound good," Lucario said with a smile

_"Bamsae ilhaessji everyday_

_Niga keulleobeseo nol ttae yeah_

_Ttan nyeoseokdeulgwaneun dareuge_

_I don’t wanna say yes_

_I don’t wanna say yes!"_

Shulk continued.

_"Sorichyeobwa all right_

_Momi tabeoridorok all night (all night)_

_Cause we got fire (fire!)_

_Higher (higher!)_

_I gotta make it, I gotta make it_

_Jjeoreo!"_

Pit and Roy sang together before the chorus started again.

_"Geobuneun geobuhae_

_Nan wonrae neomuhae_

_Modu da ttara hae_

_Jjeoreo_

_Jeonbu naui noye_

_Modu da ttara hae_

_Jjeoreo!"_

the guys sang the chorus again.

"I still hate Kpop. But this is incredible." Cloud commented.

"They must have put a lot of work into memorizing the lyrics. Those dance moves almost look dangerous. But if they get hurt, it'll give me an excuse to kiss their booboos!" Peach exclaimed.

"Peach!" Mario whined. Was the princess going to leave him for those Kpop wannabes?

*Time Skip cause I'm lazy as fuck*

After singing dope, the gang did DNA, Fire, Fake Love and I Need You. Yep, more BTS songs. And when their performance was finally over, they dropped to their knees all sweaty, making the fangirls even more thirster. 

"ANd thAT wAS... wAIt whAT's yOUR GROup's nAMe agAIN?" Crazy Hand asked.

"10/S!" the gang exclaimed.

"It stands for Ten Smashers," Robin explained.

"gIVe iT UP 10/S!!" Crazy Hand shouted, making the audience go Super Saiyan again. 

A few minutes later, 10/S crashed in the Mansion's lounge. Pit grabbed the remote and put on Jojo. 

"Well, that was something," Marth said.

"I can't feel my legs!" Roy whined.

"Guys... Robin's sister uploaded our performance on Youtube. And Instagram. And Twitter. And Snapchat." Dark Pit said, showing his phone.

Everyone hurried around him, ignoring his cries about personal space. Sure enough, there they were on Youtube, going full out Kpop.

"Oh Hylia..." Link whispered.

"Well, there goes my social life." Ike said with a groan.

"ROBYN I SWEAR TO NAGA I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!" Robin screamed before charging down the hall.

"Read the comments," Akira said.

Dark Pit scrolled down to the comments section.

"They're edgy as Hell... I love it." Sheik read out loud.

"Yo, can these guys do a concert at my high school?."

"They're even better than Bangtan themselves."

"Pit is so cute, I wanna cuddle him before I die-"

"What?!" Dark Pit exclaimed before dropping his phone and tackling Pit. "Touch the cinnamon roll bitch! I dare you!"

Sheik rolled his eyes and went back to reading the comments.

"Ike looks so buff and manly, but is incredible on stage."

"I didn't think Robin could rap like that. Good job my dude."

"They looked like a snack at the end. I want them to drag to my room and- wait what?"

"That's a little... interesting." Roy muttered.

"You thought that was bad? I saw one that was worse." Shulk pointed out.

"1:40 was the best eargasm I've ever heard. In fact, I wish Shulk could strip me down and shove his- oh my god."

"Can Marth like pin my down and fuck my-" Marth paused and looked away. "I'll pretend I never saw that."

"Man, the thirst is real," Akira commented.

"But we're famous now, am I right?!" Shulk exclaimed optimistically. "Lets make our debut MV now!"

At that, everyone began to began to protest again. Shulk quickly held his hands up in an innocent fashion.

"Chill, chill! I was joking!" He said with a smirk. "Unless... the readers want us to continue being idols. What do you guys say?” (Breaking the fourth wall, am I right?)


	6. Tactician Vs Tactician

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when the troll and shipping lady posted 10/S's debut concert? Well, that was a huge mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the rating to mature only because of the thirst and suggestive lines. Don't worry, there will be no smut.

Robyn was in her room sitting in a massage chair in her favourite pajamas while sipping tea... and roasting celebrities on Twitter.

It was one of the many things the albino twins had in common, making fun of social media influencers and having a good laugh about it. But today Robyn wasn't harassing Ariana Grande or James Charles (Hey sisters!). Nope, she was trolling Smash Mansion's very own Kpop group, 10/S.

_So, ten fighters from our humble mansion decided it would be a great idea to rip off BTS. They don't write their own songs or make choreography, they just cover Bangtan. One thing that's really killing me right now is the name, 10/S. Which is basically pronounced "tennis". Tennis! Like which goof came up with the name?! Oh, I know, my retarded brother. Also, Shulk trying to sing in Korean with a British accent is disgusting. Buddy, it might be a good idea to give up the music dream, you'll never make it. Also, Kpop is awful in general. I only recorded these dumbasses making fools of themselves for a good laugh!_

"And...post." Robyn muttered as she tapped the button (Yes, I know the tweet is over thirty words, but fanfics don't have logic).

As soon as the Tweet was up, someone knocked on the tactician's door. Robyn sighed and got up from her massage chair to look through the peephole only to see her edgy daughter with a serious expression on her face (Lucina is such a mood). Robyn smiled and opened the door.

"Hey sweetie, what's up?" Robyn asked softly.

"Hi mom. Can I talk to you about something?" Lucina asked.

"Of course. Come in, I'll make more tea." she offered.

Lucina walked in and sat down on the couch. Robyn started to boil the kettle and sat next to her. "So, what's with the sombre expression?" she asked.

Lucina took a deep breath and looked at her mother in the eye. "You know how I started dating Corrin?" she began.

"Of course. She's a good girl." Robyn answered. 

"Well, sometimes she can be a little... possessive." Lucina muttered.

Robyn wasn't exactly surprised by that. "Let me guess, your girlfriend gets jealous easily and goes around threatening to kill anyone you talk to." she said bluntly.

Lucina's eyes widen before bursting out in laughter. "Right on the money," She said. "But I wish she would do that less often. It's almost scary. Cute, but terrifying."

Robyn's played enough Yandere Simulator and watched tons of yandere anime to understand what her daughter was going through (Mirai Nikki anyone?). Poor girl has to have conversations with her friends in secret and watch her back 24/7 to make sure she wasn't being stalked. But she couldn't blame Corrin either. A girl pretty as Lucina would make anyone go insane.

"Maybe you should have her talk to a therapist," Robyn suggested. "Then you may have a better understanding of what's going inside her head and she may find a better way to cope with envy."

"You really think that would work?" Lucina asked unsure. "She might just kill the therapist." she half-joked.

"Well talking about one's problems usually help. Corrin might even have a serious mental disorder (Bipolar disorder?)." Robyn said gravely.

Lucina thought about it briefly before grinning. "Hm, that might just help. Thank you Mother. I'll suggest Corrin your idea."

Robyn shrugged. "Eh, it was no biggie. Good luck. Oh, have a cup of tea before you leave." she offered as she got up to stop the kettle from wailing. But before she even made it to the kitchen-

"THORON!!"

Robyn yelped and jumped it of the way just in time to avoid the blast of lighting through her door. Standing in the doorway was a pissed off Robin.

"Hey look, it's a Kpop rapper," Robyn commented, making finger guns at her brother. "Who isn't following the quarantine rules and destroyed my door..." she muttered (don't worry honey, there were like two other chapters where someone's door received abuse. One kudos equals one less abused door. Wait, leave a kudos only if you want to.). 

Robin stalked towards her. "Why would you upload that humiliating video?!" he demanded.

His sister shrugged. "For entertainment purposes? It's hilarious." She giggled.

"Hi Robin," Lucina greeted, completely unshook by the lighting. Robin and Robyn fought pretty often, so it wasn't a big deal.

"Hey Luci," Robin answered with a small wave. "Anyways dearest sister, you're going to have a bad time."

Robyn knew for a fact she was fucked. Although their strength is the same (they're literally pallet swaps), ever since the pandemic started Robin began to load up on extra energy with his daily can of Red Bull every morning, which is why he was able to dance, rap and sing on stage without fainting in the middle of the performance. It lasts until the evening. Robyn preferred an iced tea or cappuccino, which had a lot less sugar and caffeine, equaling in less unnatural energy (this logic make no sense). So instead of going into battle, she did the next best thing.

"EAT MY BISEXUAL ASS!" she cried before Naruto running out the door (NANIMO NANIMO-). Yep, time to play a good old game of tag and yeet the concept of social distancing out the window once again.

Robyn glanced behind her to see Robin just a few meters away. She laughed and headed for Akira's room for shelter. Besides, it was nearly time for his tutoring session with her. Since Akira is a high school second year, he's stuck with online classes and is having trouble with functions, history and physics, so he turned to girl genius for help. Robyn quickly threw the door open before locking it and barricading it using a sofa, TV and mini fridge.

When she was sure she was safe, Robyn let out a sigh of relief. "Akira?" she called.

No answer. Huh, was he not home? And then she heard it.

_"Ya weni marei mirekyarahire_

_Juri yu mirekerason"_

What in the name of Naga was that?

_"Kire hyari yoriherahe nyurahera_

_Nunnyura unera yurawera nyimerani"_

There it was again! It sounds like it was coming from the bathroom.

Her curiosity got the better of her. Robyn crept towards the bathroom door and opened it a crack. And what she saw was quite the sight.

Akira Kurusu, also known as Joker, was in the shower singing Calamari Inkantation (Squid Sisters uwu). Robyn didn't know how to react. But she knew Akira wouldn't like her seeing him nude so she gently closed the door and walked out his room, only to find Robin patiently waiting outside.

"Yello bitch." he said with a salute.

Robyn groaned and quickly kicked him in the nuts before hurrying to the lounge while Robin cried in pain while holding his crotch. Pit was still there with his eyes half lidded, absentmindedly watching Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Robyn sat in the recliner next to him and ruffled his hair.

"So, Robin's trying to murder me," she said while watching Joseph Joestar use his stand.

"Why...?" he asked softly.

Robyn shrugged and crossed her arms. "Because he's an idiot who takes the fun out of everything." she answered haughtily.

"Oh..." he muttered. Robyn couldn't help but crack a smile. Pit was way too pure for this world.

Daisy skipped into the lounge with a huge grin on her face. "Did you know someone uploaded 10/S's performance?!" she exclaimed.

Robyn smirked. "Honey, I'm the bad bitch who put it up there." she whispered, trying not to wake up Pit, who had just fallen asleep.

"Well, it's over a million views now!" Daisy squealed. 

Robyn whistled. "Well that's impressive. I only recorded it because those guys are really-"

"Dreamy? Talented? Amaze-balls?!" the princess interrupted.

What?

Robyn quickly pulled her phone out, opened Youtube and clicked on the video. Sure enough, it was already at a million views. And when she clicked on the comment section...

"Holy fuck..." the tactician muttered in shock. 

Instead of getting roasts and trolls, the comments section was full of fangirl thirst. And some comments were so "thirsty" Robyn started to have some rather arousing thoughts. Also, she got a lot of hate from that Twitter post. How did her plan backfire?

Soon, Robin strolled into the lounge and pulled out his tome. "Good evening everyone. Today I'm going to unleash so much lighting magic on my crazy sister-"

"You're so hot I'm gonna cum myself." Robyn blurted out while sweating like crazy with her mouth hanging open as if she were a character in a hentai manga (Don't attack me for this line-).

Robin blushed madly and slowly backed up before running out the lounge while shouting "INCEST ALERT! HELP!".

Daisy giggled. "If you hadn't posted that twenty minute video, we would have died out of boredom. And the fans will get worse as time goes by." she joked.

Robyn sighed, pulled herself off the recliner, crashed onto the couch and buried her face in the pillow. "Whatever you do, protect the innocent angel from the comments." Robyn mumbled.

Clean thoughts, Robyn. Clean thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed my writing skills have really dropped. For one, there are countless spelling mistakes. Second, the maximum number of words is less than 2000. Ugh, I'm really sorry.


	7. Zelda Plays Minecraft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda plays one of the best games created in history, Minecraft. Turns out she makes an adorable noob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have "Revenge" stuck in my head. Also, has anyone else made the mistake of thinking a creeper is cute and walking up to it?

Zelda, the Princess of Hyrule, was bored out of her mind.

She did everything she could think of while being trapped in her room- baking desserts, knitting and even uploading pointless Tik Toks. Peach on the other hand decided it would be a GREAT idea to throw a pool party. Once teen every in Florida heard about it, they hurried to the mansion's pool and started vibing in it (I just feel like the mansion would be located in Florida-). Let's just say Crazy hand was not happy about it, since he already had the task of looking after the mansion ever since Master Hand caught the virus.

"What to do..." she muttered while reading an article titled "40 things to do while in quarantine".

Go on a walk? She did that five times already today. Learn a new language? She learned Korean, French, Italian and Hindi in the past two weeks. 

Then her eyes fell on the one thing she hasn't tried: 34. Play an online game with friends. 

"Of course! Why didn't I think of that before?" Zelda exclaimed. Then she paused. "Wait, the only game I've ever played asides from Smash is Breath Of The Wild. In fact, I don't even own a console." she groaned.

Then it hit her. She could simply download games on her computer! Immediately, Zelda typed in "Best PC games of 2020" in Google. As soon as she clicked searched, so many games popped up, as well as Steam. 

Let's see, Overwatch? It looked cool. But once she learned it was a shooter, Zelda decided not to buy it. Fortnite? Then she remembered Lucina burning a bunch of Switch copies of it on the rooftop. Guess it's a bad game.

Then her eyes fell on a game that was made in 2009. "Minecraft?" she read out loud. Curious, she clicked on the website. From what she read, it was a game where you can explore and create a world. Since Zelda was a pretty creative person, it didn't seem like a bad choice. 

"Welp, I guess this is the one I'm buying..." she said as she pulled out her credit card to pay for the game. After purchasing and setting up the whole thing, Zelda was finally ready to relax and play her new game.

"Okay let's see... singleplayer... create new world... let's call it "Hyrule" for now... sure we'll go with Survival Mode whatever that means..." she muttered while clicking several options. "Okay, let's do this!" she exclaimed as she clicked on "Play Selected World".

"So do I move with the arrow keys or WASD... guess both works." Zelda thought out loud as she controlled Steve. She clicked on a tree to gather some wood, only to be surprised when the entire tree didn't collapse (TIMBER-). "Huh, looks like physics doesn't really apply in Minecraft." she said with a laugh.

Unsure what to do, Zelda started to dig. She kept digging lower until she came across a spider. "Hello!" she said with a smile. Suddenly, the spider attacked her (no surprise there)! Yelping, Zelda quickly rose to the surface with the dirt she gathered.

"Damn spider..." she muttered. "Oh, it's night now!" 

Then she spotted something in the distance. Curious, Zelda walked over to it to discover it was a green four-legged creature with an adorable black face (Creeper? AW MAN-).

"Aw, what are you?" she asked clicking on it. The thing flashed red and jumped back. "Oops, I didn't mean to hurt you!" she quickly apologized. 

And then it happened.

**hiiiIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSssssss**

Confused Zelda stared at the creature. "Is it supposed to hissing?" she asked nervously. And then-

**booOOOOOOOMMMM!**

Zelda gasped and fell out of her chair. When she looked up, she saw the following words:

Game Over!

Zelda was killed by Creeper

Score: 0

It took a few seconds for Zelda to understand what that meant. "So that thing can kill you?! Hmph, so much for being cute..." she muttered with her arms crossed.

Not wanting to die for a second time, Zelda decided to ask an expert for help, also known as her male counterpart, Sheik (don't bash me for making Sheik a guy-). She punched in his number into her phone and waited for him to pick up. Finally, he answered on the fourth ring.

"Zelda?" he asked lazily.

"Hi Sheik, I need your help with a game. How do you play Minecraft?" Zelda asked him.

Silence. And then Sheik burst out laughing. 

"What's so funny...?" Zelda slowly asked.

"Z-Zelda, the P-princess of Hyrule i-is playing a video game-" he managed to say before howling again.

Zelda rolled her eyes. "How old do you think I am? If you're going to make fun of me for playing a computer game, then I'll ask someone sensible for help, like Samus." she declared.

Finally, the Sheikah stopped laughing. "Okay, gimme a moment, I'll save you Princess. Come on Discord." He said before hanging up. Zelda shook her head and launched Discord.

Eventually, Sheik came online along with Samus. "Zelda, if you know what's good for you, don't ask this clown to guide you through Minecraft." Samus said in the mic nonchalantly. 

"Oh shush boomer," Sheik shot back. 

"What did you just call me...?" Samus hissed. From her side, Zelda can hear knuckles cracking.

"Uh, did I say boomer? I meant beautiful woman!" he quickly said. "Anyways Zel, you first want to craft some wooden planks. Get some wood and arrange them in this pattern in the crafting grid." he instructed, showing his screen to the other two.

"Got it." Zelda got to work. "Okay, now what?" 

"Next, make a stick by placing two vertically adjacent wooden planks in the grid. Once you're done, we'll make you a wooden pickaxe." he continued.

Zelda nodded. "Let's see how this goes...

*TIME SKIP*

By the time night had fallen, Zelda managed to put up with Sheik's jokes and built a small house with a bed with his guidance.

"So Zel, what did you think about your first day of Minecraft?" Samus asked.

Zelda shrugged. "Eh, could have been worse. But at least I didn't die this time." she answered.

"If how don't mind me asking, how exactly did you die last time?" Sheik asked.

"I found an adorable green creature and tried to interact with it only for it to blow me up." she replied.

Sheik and Samus were quiet. Then, the Sheikah spoke up.

"You're telling me you actually walked up to a Creeper?" Sheik whispered with a giggle.

"Is that what it's called? Good to know." Zelda said with a smile.

Sheik burst into hysterics again. Samus facepalmed and DMed her friend so she wouldn't have to tolerate anymore of his bullshit.

Metroid Killer: If u don't wanna deal with surviving mobs and actually wanna build something epic, play Creative Mode. 

Metroid Killer: Let's leave this goof and make a new world and build a palace together ;)

Metroid Killer: Also it's unnecessary, but I recommend using this skin: zeldaskin.jpg

Zelda: Thanks mate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was short, school is stressing me out. Also, as you can tell, I'm running out of ideas. Sheik is my annoying cousin in a nutshell. And yes, there's actually a ALTTP Zelda skin: https://www.minecraftskins.com/uploads/skins/2020/05/14/princess-zelda-14355121.png?v233 I'm also planning on making a bonus chapter to make up for not writing for so long. Well, I wouldn't really call it a chapter but... Eh, you'll see.


	8. I'll Quit Singing! But It's A Cover By Lucina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucina sings a parody of Fukase's infamous song. Slight profinaty warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know why I wrote this trash. Eh, it was fun. Also, my favourite version of this song is "Quit Your Sour Sweetness!" by Vannamelon. It's unique and cute. But for those who have never heard of it before, here the original:https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=77&v=H0F7Sb0Vfek

Lucina took a deep breath and cracked her knuckles. Once she was sure her mic was working, she began to play.

_"I am done,_

_I am through,_

_I am just so sick of it all!_

_Why do you people keep comparing me to Marth?!"_

_"I am done,_

_I am through,_

_I am so sick of everyone's bullshit!_

_And stop calling me flat,_

_Cause at least I have boobs you sluts,_

_Fuck you all!"_

*CUE INTENSE PIANO MUSIC*

_"Ever since Nintendo created me,_

_I knew people would start being horny,_

_Drawing fanart of me being fucked by every fighter,_

_Don't you bitches have anything better to do?"_

_"I'm always shipped with that Goddess,_

_Palutena and I have nothing in common so what's the deal?_

_Oh and please quit shipping me with my ancestor,_

_Because that's wrong on so many levels,_

_Fuck you guys"_

_"Why do I always die in every damn fanfic?_

_Do you dumbasses seriously think I'm that weak?_

_And for the last time, stop calling me "Girl Marth" as I have a name,_

_Or I'll call you guys horny NEETS without a life,_

_Because it's time I put a end to this all!"_

_"I am done,_

_I am through,_

_Just give me a fucking break,_

_Ugh my throat is starting to ache does anyone have water?"_

_"I am done,_

_I am through,_

_I won't keep satisfying your pervy desires,_

_Just let me take care of my mental health,_

_Is that seriously too much to ask?"_

_"I am done,_

_I am through,_

_Oh shit I've run out of stuff to rant about,_

_Welp I better hurry up and finish this fucking song"_

_"I am done,_

_I am through,_

_And no dad I'm not going through some fucking phase,_

_Fuck you all!"_

Lucina gasped and slammed her head on the piano and started to cry. Outside her room, Robyn and Chrom stood outside with concern.

"So, what now?" Chrom asked, still trying to process the fact his daughter swears.

Robyn sighed and opened Lucina's door, which was surprisingly unlocked. She walked next to her daughter and placed her hand on her shoulder.

"Sweetie, do you want to watch some Netflix with me and Zelda? It'll help destress you and distract you from your depression. Or whatever this is." she suggested.

Lucina sat up and wiped her eyes. "O-okay," she said with a nod.

Meanwhile, Chrom went off to find the fighter who made his daughter so edgy and beat the shit out of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But for real, stop comparing Lucina to Marth, just because they have the same moveset doesn't mean she's a clone of him. In fact, Lucina is top tier.


	9. A Totally Not Sexual Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy started this shit. One thing then led to another and... You'll see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a quick rundown on whos who:
> 
> RoysOurBoi: Roy  
> Angelic-Light: Palutena  
> EdgyExalt: Lucina  
> TheJokerOfHearts69: Joker/Akira/Ren  
> DarkAngelOfSkyworld: Dark Pit  
> RenRensMom: Bayonetta  
> TheKingOfKoopas: Bowser  
> Zelda!: ...I think it's pretty obvious  
> Royal_-_Fighter: Marth  
> LucinaIsMine: F!Corrin  
> FireEmblem06: Ike  
> Tactical_Strategist: M!Robin  
> HylianNaruto: Sheik

_Server: Smash Mansion's Official Discord Server_

_#general, 3:52_

RoysOurBoi: Guys

RoysOurBoi: I got a boner

Angelic-Light: Ew y r u telling us dat

RoysOurBoi: Because

RoysOurBoi: I wanna ;)

EdgyExalt: thats something personal we dont wanna kno

RoysOurBoi: Well its Akira's fault

TheJokerOfHearts69: How da hell am i responsible

RoysOurBoi: U showed me boku no pico!

RoysOurBoi: Now I'm hard!!!!!

TheJokerOfHearts69: I did? My bad

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: did u seriously show the kid porn

TheJokerOfHearts69: u kno u r a kid 2 rite?

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: no I'm not

Angelic-Light: U r

Angelic-Light: U r like 13 appearance wise but actually 11 :p

Angelic-Light: Shota

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: SHHHHH UR NOT SUPPOSED 2 TELL EM DAT-

Angelic-Light: Well I just did >:D

EdgyExalt: wats a shota?

TheJokerOfHearts69: look it up

RoysOurBoi: Can we get back on topic?

RoysOurBoi: Akira really wanted 2 get away from me so he gave me hentai

RenRensMom: Renren...

TheJokerOfHearts69: ah shit its my mom

EdgyExalt: ohohoho u in trouble now

RenRensMom: I'm proud of you

TheJokerOfHearts69: yay!

TheKingOfKoopas wat da faq even is this conversation

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: fire marth is horny lmao

TheKingOfKoopas: y

Angelic-Light: Scroll up

Zelda!: Wait is Bayonetta actually Akira's mom?

TheJokerOfHearts69: ya

TheJokerOfHearts69: im half british

Zelda!: Cool

RoysOurBoi: W8 zelda u were hear dis hole time

Zelda!: Correction: "Wait Zelda, you were here this entire time?"

Zelda!: Grammar is important.

Zelda!: And yes, I was, my status is invisible. Why are we even talking about this?

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: roy started it

RoysOurBoi: Hey joker u wanna come 2 my room n play animal crossing with me?

TheJokerOfHearts69: no

TheKingOfKoopas: u guys wanna c smg funny

TheKingOfKoopas: smashmoan726758.mp3

EdgyExalt: WAT DA FUCK-

RoysOurBoi: DIS US MOANING?!

Angelic-Light: Hehe pittoo is a screamer

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: SHUDDUP GODDESS UR IN DIS 2!

RenRensMom: Hey, this is the time I banged you Palu~

Angelic-Light: fsjdfcdejceyefkdeufu

TheJokerOfHearts69: w8 actually

Angelic-Light: hedgukdefvkwvjyslwas,g;.whpwgds

RenRensMom: yee I did

Royal_-_Fighter: Roy wat did u do dis time

RoysOurBoi: Watched anime porn

Royal_-_Fighter: -_-'

Royal_-_Fighter: Whoa wat is dis audio

Angelic-Light: bedfviuafqjaflqjvwjsefvlqabdl.abldwibkudwf

Zelda!: Did any of you graduate school? Because clearly none of you guys can spell or use proper grammar.

Zelda!: Except for Akira's mom.

EdgyExalt: were texting so it doesnt matter

Angelic-Light: gdsyjfvwsajvwsaufiwakubgwkasufwiy

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: i think we broke palu

TheJokerOfHearts69: should we do smg

KingOfTheKoopas: ;trollface;

Zelda: Bowser you're so evil.

KingOfTheKoopas: Ik

EdgyExalt: smh

LucinaIsMine: Luci

LucinaIsMine: Who did you have sex with?

EdgyExalt: fuck

EdgyExalt: no one

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: w8 is dis Corrin?

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: press F 2 pay ur respects

RoysOurBoi: F

TheKingOfKoopas: F

TheJokerOfHearts69: F

RenRensMom: F

EdgyExalt: U GUYS ARENT HELPING-

LucinaIsMine: Lucina

LucinaIsMine: It's okay

LucinaIsMine: I won't hurt you if you told me.

FireEmblem06: But youll murder da one who fucked her

KingOfTheKoopas: whos dis now?

Zelda!: *this

FireEmblem06: Ike

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: wat kinda username is dat

FireEmblem06: its the users decision 2 use dis username

FireEmblem06: dont h8 on em

LucinaIsMine: Lucina?

LucinaIsMine: Are you still there?

TheJokerOfHearts69: she went offline

RenRensMom: You're scaring her

RoysOurBoi: Wat kinda gf r u 2 hurt ur lovers friends

RoysOurBoi: She doesn't deserve you

LucinaIsMine: ...

FireEmblem06: she went offline 2-

TheJokerOfHearts69: ROY RUN

TheJokerOfHearts69: COME 2 MY ROOM

TheJokerOfHearts69: WE CAN PLAY ANIMAL CROSSING 2GETHER

TheJokerOfHearts69: JUST DONT LET HER KILL U

RoysOurBoi: Aw u do care!

RoysOurBoi: FUCK SHES BREAKING DOWN MY DOOR-

Angelic-Light: Fine ill just teleporte u 2 akis room

Zelda!: Hurry!

TheJokerOfHearts69: O good ur still in 1 piece

FireEmblem06: did u just say one piece

RenRensMom: my son is a weeb

LucinaIsMine: Joker.

LucinaIsMine: I'm only going to say this once.

LucinaIsMine: Open the door.

Tactical_Strategist: NOT SO FAST!

LucinaIsMine: Robin what are you-

Tactical_Strategist: I knocked her out with thoron :D

RoysOurBoi: Yay!

RoysOurBoi: Can we play animal crossing now pwese?

TheJokerOfHearts69: u kno u dont need 2 text im standing right here

EdgyExalt: w8

Zelda!: You're back!

EdgyExalt: i was hiding my vibrator

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: u have a vibrator with u XD

EdgyExalt: so wat if i do

EdgyExalt: anyways i think were all wanna kno who fucked who

TheKingOfKoopas: i never did anyone but i still wanna kno

Tactical_Strategist: What r u guys talking about?

TheKingOfKoopas: smashmoan726758.mp3

Tacticial_Strategist: ;blush;

RoysOurBoi: Marth was da one who fucced me

Royal_-_Fighter: shush

TheJokerOfHearts69: den y did u wanna do me

TheJokerOfHearts69: u already have a bf

Royal_-_Fighter: no he isn't

Royal_-_Fighter: were friends

Royal_-_Fighter: with benefits ;)

TheJokerOfHearts69: fair fair

TheJokerOfHearts69: i laid futaba

EdgyExalt: who dat

TheJokerOfHearts69: futuba.jpg

Zelda!: Wow, she's so pretty!

TheJokerOfHearts69: ik...

TheJokerOfHearts69: i'm still not over her...

Zelda!: Oh

Zelda!: I *tried* to get Link to have sex with me

Zelda!: But he's too baby.

EdgyExalt: jajajajajajaja

FireEmblem06: lucina its ur turn

Angelic-Light: ur the bag of chips in this covo

EdgyExalt: oki

EdgyExalt: u guys kno selena

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: no

Tactical_Strategist: Oh

Tactical_Strategist: Da tsundere

EdgyExalt: yeah

EdgyExalt: corrin better not find out about her

EdgyExalt: we better delete these messages b4 she wakes up

Zelda!: Agreed.

Zelda!: What about you Pittoo?

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: ;blush;

RenRensMom: You don't need 2 hide it, I remember you and Pit had fun after that party

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: WE WERE DRUNK OK?!

TheJokerOfHearts69: so thats where da screams were fro ;leeny face;

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: no one asked u

Zelda!: I see.

Zelda!: Makes sense.

Zelda!: Wait, who gave the child booze?

Angelic-Light: I let him drink a lil ;)

RenRensMom: We should also probably delete these texts before Pit reads them

FireEmblem06: speaking of who where is he

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: asleep

Zelda!: Palutena, you're a bad mom

Angelic-Light bfjgkudjbvjsdfukjarsdcwkadvskfsdckydsvk

TheJokerOfHearts69: oh god here we go again

Tacticial_Strategist: Im dating monado boi btw

Tacticial_Strategist: We made love last night

Tacticial_Strategist: Screw corona

RoysOurBoi: ;thumbsup;

RoysOurBoi: wat bout Ike

FireEmblem06: sadly im a virgin

FireEmblem06: i wanna ask samus out but i doubt shes interested in me

RenRensMom: Aw

RenRensMom: That's so cute

RenRensMom: Give it a shot! ^o^

FireEmblem06: and risk being slammed into da wall?

FireEmblem06: i need more time 2 think

RenRensMom: I understand

RenRensMom: Anyways Palutena fucked me a year ago

Angelic-Light: divfskuvdsjcdsjdcsjcfsdjycsj

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: leave her alone

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: let her cool off

RoysOurBoi: Welp Im gonna take a shower and play with myself to get rid of my boner

TheJokerOfHearts69: u kno u have me right?

TheJokerOfHearts69: and hes gone

TheJokerOfHearts69: ;cry;

EdgyExalt: gonna call it a night

EdgyExalt: bai

Royal_-_Fighter: cya

DarkAngelOfSkyworld: adios

TheKingOfKoopas: time 2 harass peach again

Angelic-Light: mnjbdsufvdsjvaskugvsfaijfcedk

RenRensMom: good night

FireEmblem06: bye

Tactical_Strategist: Use protection ;)

_#ventandsupport 6:17_

HylianNaruto: guys greninja flooded da main hall again

HylianNaruto: anyone there?

HylianNaruto: dammit guess im gonna have 2 deal with dis shit myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated this trash. I was busy with school and family stuff. Hope I can continue writing this before my depression takes over and my motivation dies...


	10. BTS VS 10/S

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all saw this coming, didn't you? BTS finally discovers 10/S and are pissed that they are covering their songs. What shall they ever do? Specifically, what will Rap Monster do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought the Kpop was done? Oh no, I'm just getting started eue

"Namjoon, help me," Jimin whined (Jimin is a baby).

Kim Namjoon, who is more commonly known as Rap Monster, rolled his eyes and walked up to the child. "What?" he asked.

"Hoseok stole my shoes," the baby whimpered.

"Well what do you expect me to do, mine were destroyed by the psycho dog across the street!" Jung Hoseok, or J-Hope, shot back.

"Buy a new pair of shoes?" Namjoon suggested.

Hoseok stuck his tongue out and left the house. Good Lord, it was like being a babysitter when it came to dealing the other members (How I feel with my sister).

"GUYS I HAVE BAD NEWS!" Kim Seokjin, also known as Jin, exclaimed.

Namjoon winced and covered his ears. "Dude, there's no need to yell, I'm right here." he muttered.

Seokjin sat down on the couch and handed his laptop to Namjoon. That's when Kim Taehyung, who's stage name is V, collapsed next to him and stuck his feet in Seokjin's face (The reason I'm putting their stage names with their real names is because most people are uncultured when it comes to Kpop) .

"Massage my feet," he ordered.

"Get the fuck out," Seokjin hissed.

Ignoring them, Namjoon read the article on the screen. It seemed like there was a new Kpop group named 10/S. That's cool. What's the big deal? 

But when he scrolled to the bottom, that's when Namjoon's heart stopped.

_In my opinion, 10/S is a better group compared to BTS. They have more members, a wider age range, more species, better choreography and much better voices. And hey, they actually know English! And I'll be honest, I have a huge crush on Sheik. Sorry Yoongi, but you ain't my bias anymore._

Namjoon was quiet for a moment. Then like a drama queen, he dropped the Macbook which shattered into a thousand pieces (First door abuse and now laptop abuse?).

"WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE CON ARTISTS?!" he exclaimed.

"Right?! It pisses you off doesn't it?!" Jin growled.

"Why you guys so mad?" Yoongi yawned walking into the scene.

"There's a new fake Kpop group," Namjoon began.

"So?"

"So they're trying to replace us!"

"Yeah that ain't happening anytime soon so chill,"

"...the writer of one of the articles said you're not their bias anymore and replaced you with some guy named Sheik."

"OH HELL NO WHO WROTE THAT SHIT I'M GONNA FIGHT HER-"

"And you guys haven't seen the worst part yet." Jin whispered as he passed his phone to the two. "Also you owe me a new laptop."

"Suga I'm hungry," Jimin whimpered.

"Wait, we need to beat up some bitches," Yoongi quickly said.

Namjoon clicked the video on screen. Standing on a beach was a brunette kid wearing a simple white t-shirt, shorts and were those... wings? And this music sounds familiar... Slowly, the boy turned around to reveal innocent yet serious blue eyes that would make any girl go crazy. And then he started to sing:

_"Nan sumswigo sipeo I bami sireo  
Ijen kkaego sipeo kkumsogi sireo  
Nae ane gathyeoseo nan jugeoisseo  
Don't wanna be lonely  
Just wanna be yours" (Too lazy to indent every line-)_

"Hey, is that me? I sound different," Jimin piped up.

"Shush, we're trying to listen to... whatever this is." Yoongi snapped.

Back to the video, while the angel kid was singing, he was doing some emo dance moves. Okay, at least the choreography was original, though Namjoon couldn't place his finger where those lyrics were from. 

Then, the camera changed it focus to a older guy that just spelled HOT- with long blond hair held back in a ponytail, bright blue hair and... elf ears? Who were these people cosplaying? He was also wearing a simple blue top and ripped jeans.

_"Wae iri kkamkkamhan geonji  
Niga eoptneun I goseun  
Wiheomhajanha manggajin nae moseup  
Guhaejwo nal nado nal jabeul su eopseo (su eopseo)"_

"Damn he fine though," Taehyung whistled.

"NO, DON'T GIVE IN! NO MATTER HOW SEXY THEY MAY BE WE CAN NOT GIVE IN TO THEM!" Namjoon yelled.

Next, the camera flipped to another blond haired and blue eyed dude. Okay, at least he looked human in a red hoodie, black tank and black shorts.

_"Nae simjangsoril deureobwa  
Jemeotdaero neol bureujanha  
Kkaman eodum sogeseo  
Neoneun ireoke bitnanikka"_

This man had an accent. Was he British? Or Australian? Namjoon couldn't tell because he was distracted by those smooth curves- (I don't blame you, Shulk looks fine)

Nope. 

Stop. 

You can't.

Blond-haired British guy then joined a group of teens who were in comfortable clothing like him. And then the chorus happened. That's when Namjoon realized why the music and lyrics were so familiar.

_"Geu soneul naemireojwo Save me Save me  
I need your love before I fall fall  
Geu soneul naemireojwo Save me Save me  
I need your love before I fall fall"_

"HOLY SHISH KABOB THAT'S OUR SONG!" Jung Jeongguk exclaimed, running in from nowhere.

"Exactly! These anime boys are ripping us off." Jin said.

Well on the plus side, the music was a remastered version. But it sounded so much better than the original...

"...I can't keep watching this," Namjoon sighed, passing the phone back to Jin, who smashed it to the ground.

"Namjoon, Jin broke his phone," Jimin said.

"I FUCKING KNOW THAT!" Jin snapped.

Jimin sniffed and buried his face in Namjoon's chest. "Namjoon, why does everyone hate me?" he whimpered.

Namjoon ruffled his hair. "They don't, we're just angry at these posers," he consoled.

"But seriously man, what are we going to do?" Taehyung asked. 

Yoongi clicked his tongue, pulled out a machine gun from under the couch and smirked. "I'll get a flight to America, find these mother fuckers and shoot the living daylights out of them." (shoot me instead Daddy~)

"Yoongi no." Jin warned.

"YOONGI YES!" he cried before charging to his room.

Namjoon shook his head and pulled out his own phone. Maybe he could find these kids on Twitter and tell them to back off?

"What are these guys called again?" he asked Jin.

"10/S." he answered

"Tennis?"

"It probably stands for something else."

"Okay cool."

Hours passed and Namjoon was by himself on his laptop, looking on all sorts of social media platforms. He found some of the members and tried texting them but he still hasn't heard back. They had weird names too: Ike, Marth, Link, Shulk- was it common for Americans to have interesting names (hey my actual name is pretty weird so yes)?

But Lady Luck must have been on his side because he found an advertisement for some videogame on a random webpage.

"Super Smash Brothers...?" he read.

Namjoon was about to dismiss it only to realize that one of the characters on the ad looked like one of the members of 10/S. Opening a new tab, he looked up "Link". Sure enough, he looked exactly like the second singing in 10/S. These guys were video game characters?

Thing was, Namjoon had dmed this Link, but he still didn't answer. Probably because his text was pretty rude.

Soon, Namjoon had drained himself out and was ready to pack it in for the evening when he got a friend request on Discord. Huh? Who's was this? The request came from a person by the username @icantread.

Stifling a laugh, Namjoon accepted his request. Let's see what this person wants...

Rap Monster: Hey, can I help u?

In response, he got a voice call. Namjoon picked it up only to be shocked when he saw who it was. 

"BIRD BOY!" he blurted out (yeah Pit's a bird).

"Huh? I can't understand you," the boy blinked in confusion.

Oh. This kid was clearly American. Well, at least he didn't realize he was just roasted. Clearing his throat, Namjoon looked the brunette in the eye.

"Sorry, I was spitting out random Korean. I'm Namjoon. You?" he greeted politely in English.

The kid's face lit up. "I'm Pit, servant of the Goddess of Light, Palutena!" he exclaimed.

His name is "Pit"? Like an armpit? Namjoon couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor kid. Because who names their child Pit? Also, what was with that whole Sailor Moon intro?

"N-nice to meet Pit." he stuttered.

"You too!"

Pit gave Namjoon Jimin vibes just by looking at him. He was adorable! No, he didn't have a crush on him. That would be pedophilia, you know?

"How old are you?" Namjoon asked.

"Thirteen," he answered.

Namjoon chuckled and shook his head. "Wow, that's young. But Pit, the internet is a very dangerous place. You shouldn't be giving your personal info to strangers. They can use it to find where you live and hurt you." Namjoon warned.

"But everyone knows I'm thirteen. In fact, it's in Divinipedia (that's the Kid Icarus Wiki)."

For real? Wow, its surprising he doesn't have a stalker yet.

"So um Pit, I was wondering, are you part of 10/S?" Namjoon asked finally getting to the point.

"Yep!" he answered.

"Well, do you know the group Bangtan?" Namjoon slowly asked.

"Nope!"

"Do you know BTS?"

"Of course I do! They inspired us!"

"Well, I'm the lead rapper of the group."

Pit gasped. "For real?!" he exclaimed, his eyes all anime like.

"Yep. I'm Rap Monster." Namjoon said with a smile.

**tHUD**

Namjoon wasn't sure what exactly happened, but Pit practically disappeared. That's when a boy with black hair, scarlet eyes, black hipster glasses, a black t shirt, khaki shorts and shadowy teal wings ran in.

"Pit, are you all right?!" the other dude exclaimed.

Pit held a thumbs up to the screen. Shaking his head, the other bird boy lifted Pit up bridal style. Sure enough, Pit had wings too, but they were white.

"Just what are you doing?" the dark winged kid asked.

"R-R-Rap M-M-Monster." he managed to say pointing to the screen.

At this, Namjoon burst out laughing. Poor kid was star-struck. He must have fallen off his chair when he realized who he actually was. It was cute though.

Confused, the other boy gently placed Pit on the bed and sat down in front of the screen. "Who the fuck are you and why are you trying to seduce my boyfriend (it's Yoongi's new friend!)?"

Wow. Rude much?

"Good question, who the fuck are you and why are you swearing at a person you just met?" Namjoon asked with a dark smile.

"Excuse me?!"

"My reaction exactly."

The dark winged kid was stunned. He shook his head and crossed his arms. "Just tell me who you are."

"Namjoon," he answered.

"Nam-who?" the dark winged kid repeated.

"For the love of- Rap Monster."

"Oooooohhhhhh." 

The dark winged kid slowly nodded in understanding. Well, he clearly knew who he was messing with now.

"And what about you Four Eyes?" Namjoon sassed. Thank Yoongi, he's been teaching him a thing or two.

"F-four Eyes?! My name is Dark Pit! Gods, Pittoo was bad enough!" he complained.

"Ah." Namjoon said nodding finally understanding. This brat was the rapper who replaced Yoongi's part.

"Why do you guys have wings?" Namjoon asked.

"Bitch, we're angels,"

This. Fucking. Kid.

Well, now that that was out of the way, time to ask them to stop stealing BTS's content-

**rA-tA-tA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA**

A scream was heard as the sounds of gunfire emerged. Standing in the door's entrance was the salty devil himself, Yoongi who was blowing the smoke off the machine gun.

"YOONGI GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE BEFORE THE COPS CATCH US!" another familiar voice cried. This one was no other than Jin who had tackled the salty child and was wrestling the gun out of Yoongi's hands.

"THEY NEVER WILL I TOOK A PRIVATE JET! SCREW CORONA!" Yoongi laughed.

"What the fuck is going on here?!" an albino who had a couple bullet wounds in him demanded.

"THE FUCKING COPS ARE ALREADY HERE!" Jin raged.

"Hey guys why does this idol have a gun?" Sheik asked in a bored tone.

Everyone froze. They stared at the Sheikah who was picking up the fallen bullets off the ground.

"ARMY THIEF!" Yoongi yelled before chasing Sheik down the hall.

"Oh look it's Suga and that other guy!" Pit exclaimed while getting up to watch the commotion.

"The hell are these guys saying?" Dark Pit asked as they were screaming in Korean<./p>

Namjoon was still stunned by what was going on. Oh boy, what shall he ever do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Sheik. Also if you didn't figure it out, my bias is Suga.


	11. Wah! It's A Karen!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waluigi hosts his weekly "edgy" tennis meet... only to be stopped by a Karen!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't meant to be racist at all; in fact it's the polar opposite. I made this to promote #BLM. I also wanted to give baby boi Pittoo some spotlight.

After the shit that's been happening in the Mansion since SOMEONE thought it would be a good idea to start a Kpop group, Dark Pit wanted nothing more to relax. So, he decided to have a nice, long, hot bath.

It was actually really relaxing. Until...

**beeEEEEPPPP**

That was his bathroom's intercom. Yes, Crazy Hand decided to install a waterproof intercom in every fighter's bathroom to call each other if there was an emergency and someone was in the bathroom ever since Greninja thought nothing could go wrong with flooding everyone's bathrooms for his water ballet. But because another emergency never occurred since that incident, people just use it as a phone if they're bored while taking a shower (I never understood why people need to take their phones to the bathroom. It's disgusting! Are people that addicted to Tik Tok?).

Groaning, Dark Pit got up from the cucumber-scented bubbles and pressed the button. "What?" he asked in a bored tone.

"Hola, mi amigo. It's been a while, no?" the voice from the other side asked.

Ah, that was Meta Knight, everyone's favourite Spanish blueberry (I have a canon that Meta Knight is Spanish). The angel became friends with him after Meta Knight realized he was the only other person in the Mansion who can understand him. At least Meta Knight knows English now.

"I guess it has. What's up?" Dark Pit answered.

"I was just wondering if you would like to join us in our "edgy" tennis meet today."

Upon hearing that, Dark Pit almost drowned.

"¿Mi amigo? Are you okay? I asked if you would like to play tennis with us. You know, the sport where you hit a ball with a racket? You haven't been showing up to our meetings." Meta Knight asked with concern.

Oh. That kind of tennis. Not the cringe Kpop group Shulk had formed and Robin decided to call "10/S". Pronounced "Ten-ess". And it was supposed to stand for "Ten Smashers", but ended up as a meme. The reason the fallen angel hasn't been showing up is because of practice. Why do they need to practice if they're just a rip-off BTS group that will never be on America's Got Talent?

"I-I'll be there." Dark Pit sputtered as he resurfaced.

"Bueno. I will see you there." With that, Meta Knight hung up.

Sighing, Dark Pit washed off and went back into his room. He quickly changed into the gym uniform the hands provided everyone before putting on his black visor and mask and grabbing his racket from under his bed and heading out (That's where I found my racket lol).

You see, Waluigi noticed how everyone was shut up in their rooms ever since the pandemic started and no one was working out. For God's sake, they weren't even leaving their rooms! Well, that was understandable after everyone realized how bad the virus actually was after Master Hand caught COVID-19 just for stepping out of the mansion for a couple minutes without a mask (How can a hand wear a mask...?).

So being the great Assist Trophy he was, Waluigi started hosting tennis games in the park which was a five minute walk from the mansion. No one cared. So, noticing there were so many edgy fighters, he made it "edgy" tennis. From then on, Cloud, Lucina, Dark Pit, Dark Samus, Shadow, Sheik, Meta Knight and Wolf started showing up. But Waluigi still felt like it wasn't enough. So he invited the other Echo fighters. So Daisy, Lucas, Richter, and Pichu joined. All though it looks like she can't, Pichu is a tennis GOD. This adorable mouse Pokemon was undefeatable.

Okay, back to the story.

By the time Dark Pit had arrived, a lot of people were already there. You had Waluigi himself, Meta Knight, Daisy, Lucas, Dark Samus, Suga- 

WHAT.

Was he seeing things? Nah, there's no way that brat was still here. Still, he decided to confirm it.

"Hey Lucas," Dark Pit called.

Turning around, the child's face lit up. "Hi Pittoo!"

Smiling, Dark Pit crouched down to Lucas's height and pointed to the guy sitting on the bleachers by himself (If Lucas can't make you smile, what is wrong with you?). "Do you know who that is?"

Lucas squinted at the person Dark Pit was pointing up before his face lit up. "Oh! That's Yoongi. I think. His English is broken. But I think he can understand it?" he explained.

For the love of Viridi, what is he doing here? 

Quickly thanking Lucas for the info, he hurried to where the idol was sitting. "Dude."

"Huh?" Yoongi asked looking up.

"The hell are you still doing here?"

"Huh?"

Rolling his eyes, Dark Pit cleared his throat. "Wae ajig yeogi issini?" (Why are you still here?) (Yes, I used Google Translate so some stuff may be off. Sorry in advance if any of you are Korean).

Upon hearing him speak fluently, Yoongi almost fell off the bleachers. "Hangug eoleul aseyo?!" (You know Korean?!)

"Geulae, Bylethneun uliege," (Yeah, Byleth has been teaching us.)

"Nuga tto Bylethibnikka?" (Who's Byleth again?)

"Palan meoli seonsaengnim." (Teacher with blue hair.)

"...geudaji guchejeog-iji anhseubnida. yeogie palan meolileul gajin salamdeul-i manh-i issseubnida." (...that's not very specific, there's a lot of people here with blue hair.) (Well he's not wrong lmao)

"Jal- Jamkkan, ajig nae jilmun-e daedabhaji anh-eu syeossgun-yo! chinguga dangsin-eul seoullo delyeo gaji anh-assnayo?" (Well- Wait, you still haven't answered my question! Didn't your friend take you back to Seoul?)

Yoongi smirked. "Naega geuleul sog-yeoss-euljido moleunda." (I may have tricked him.)

"Eotteohge?" (How?) Dark Pit asked (Because he's Yoongi :p).

"Naneun nae bangsig-iissda" (I have my ways.)

"...joh-a, geuleom." (...okay then.)

Looking past Yoongi, Dark Pit noticed Lucina and Sheik entering the court. For some odd reason, they were armed. Deciding to see what was up, he walked up to them.

"Hi Pittoo," Lucina waved.

"Can you not call me that?" he muttered. "Why do guys have your weapons? We're only playing tennis."

"We're being each other's bodyguards. I'm protecting Lucina from Corrin," Sheik explained.

"And I'm shielding Sheik from Robin and that guy from BTS."

Okay, now he was even more confused. "Why?"

Lucina shrugged. "It goes without saying for Corrin; if I'm not with her for even a second, she loses her shit and tries to murder everyone in the mansion." (Typical Yandere stuff) 

"That's understandable. But what about the other two?" the angel asked.

Sheik went quiet.

"Sheik? Are you okay buddy?" Dark Pit asked with concern.

Lucina sighed before looking up at him. "They're trying to get Sheik to quit the music industry." she answered for the Sheikah.

"What? Why?"

"I have no idea! But they've been harassing him for the past week."

Wait, Yoongi was here for an entire week and Dark Pit didn't even notice? Did he live under a rock or something?

"Also, look at this," Lucina grabbed Sheik's wrist and despite his protests removed the bandages to reveal several cuts that looked a couple days old (Ooohhh angst time).

"Holy shit! They made him depressed again?!" Dark Pit exclaimed.

Lucina slowly nodded.

Did he just say "again"? Yes, he did. When Sheik joined Smash back in Brawl, he kept to himself all the time and didn't socialize much with the other fighters. Except for Zelda. One day he wasn't answering her calls (On her Nokia flip phone lol) so she went to his room to investigate only to find that he had fainted from blood loss and there were numerous cuts on his arms and legs. Zelda saved Sheik just in time and has helped him cope. From then on, Sheik was a edgy goof.

Until now.

"Remember the hammer incident?" Sheik asked looking up.

"How can I forget?" Dark Pit retorted.

**ONE WEEK AGO:**

It was a normal summer afternoon in the library. Ike, Sheik, Dark Pit and Akira was figuring out how to split up Dynamite's lines so everyone had equal lyrics (DY-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-).

"Okay, let's give this line to our maknae," Ike said.

"Pit? He's not a rapper though." Dark Pit pointed out.

"No, he's talking about you." Sheik answered.

"Huh? How am I the maknae?!"

"Well, it's canon that Pit's in his thirties and you're like eleven."

Silence.

"I-I was actually talking about Pit." Ike stuttered.

"He's thirty? You had me fooled!" Akira exclaimed.

"Come to think of it, Pit looks about thirteen. And although him and Pittoo are like the same age, Pittoo acts like he's fifteen." Sheik muttered.

"Thank you- Wait, why are you calling me Pittoo!"

And then it happened.

**da-nA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-DA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA**

Suddenly, the door was thrown open. Standing in the doorway was Robin with the legendary hammer (Gee stop it with the door abuse!).

"Oh hey Robin, you're late for our meeting. What took you so long-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Robin KOed Sheik with the hammer before proceeding the KO everyone else out the window. The librarian was screaming to keep it down but no one listened.

Okay, storytime is over.

"He did that to us so I would stop singing. After that, he started leaving death threats in my room unless I quit 10/S. Yoongi has also been on my ass. It kinda got to me and..." Sheik mentioned to the bandages.

"That's also the reason why he's been blasting Piri on loop," Lucina sighed (Oh oh oh oh oh oh~ I know you want from me! Pirireul bureora~) 

"Damn, I had no idea that was happening to you. I'm sorry. Wait hold on, I can make it up to you." Dark PIt grabbed Yoongi and began beating him with his tennis racket.

"Ouch," Lucina winced as Yoongi cried in pain.

Sheik managed to crack a smile upon seeing his bully get beat up. "By the way, the only reason I'm still in the band is to impress Kamui." he called (Male Corrin. Sheikrin is best ship).

"I ship them," Lucina grinned.

"Wah! Stop your fighting!" Waluigi hissed coming between the two. "Pittoo, you're up first."

Sighing, Dark Pit let go off Yoongi and hurried to his side of the net, only to groan when he realized who was on the other side.

"Well, if it isn't Hot Topic's mascot." Shadow growled.

"Hello, Edgy the Hedgy." Dark Pit hissed.

"Wah! Sit back and watch these two deck it out. I'll be over here singing while flipping burgers." Waluigi said before turning on the portable speaker. A familiar tune began to play.

"Great, not only am I up against my rival but I also have to listen to his song?" Dark Pit sighed.

_"Wah! I see no hear no evil  
Black writing on the wall  
Unleashed a million faces  
And one by one they fall"_

_"Black-hearted evil  
Black hearted hero  
I am all, I am all, I am  
Wah!"_

Trying his best to ignore the music, Dark Pit served the tennis ball so hard it almost hit Shadow in the face. Fortunately, the anamorphic hedgehog hit it back right it time. The two were in perfect sync. Until the music suddenly stopped.

Everyone stopped watching the game and turned to see a women in her thirties with short blond hair, sunglasses, a blue cardigan and a yellow sundress (Uh oh Karen time).

"Wah! What was that for?!" Waluigi demanded.

"Your thug music is way too loud. Do you kids have a permit to be here?" the lady asked.

Thug music? 

"Pardon?" Daisy asked.

"A permit. Do I need to define what that is-"

"Wah! I know what a permit is. Since when did we need one to be here?" Waluigi interrupted only to yelp when he realized his burgers were burning.

"Because I've never seen you guys here. What business do you have here?"

"We're playing tennis stupid!" Richter shouted before bursting into hysterics.

"Excuse me, do you talk to your mother with that mouth?" the women asked coming over to him.

"Stupid isn't a bad word," Lucina called.

"And you!" the lady whirled around and pointed at her. "What have you done with your hair?"

Lucina frowned and touched her hair. "Nothing. Why do you ask?"

"I made a petition to ban all unnatural hair colours. I guess no one listened!" the lady sassed.

"What are you talking about? My hair is naturally blue." Lucina shot back, but this woman ignored her.

"How many people signed it?" Dark Pit asked.

"Like two."

"That's why."

"And what's with all that metal on your face Mister?"

"Metal?" he repeated. The only metal on his face was this earring Pit bought him. Which was on his EAR for crying out loud.

"Anyways, can I see your permit?"

"I don't have a fucking permit!" Waluigi snapped.

Big mistake. The lady pulled out her phone and punched in a number. "Hello? I would like to report some delinquents in the park who don't have a permit."

Everyone's jaw dropped.

"She called the cops on us?!" Cloud gasped.

"This is ridiculous," Dark Samus scoffed.

"...they're playing tennis... well they should have a permit! They look really sketchy and some of them are black! And two of them have swords!"

Everyone looked around the court. There were tan people, but not a single black person. Lucina and Sheik quickly discarded their weapons though.

The lady huffed and hung up. "I don't care what the police says, but you need to leave now." she ordered.

"Why aren't you wearing a mask?" Daisy suddenly asked.

"This is my body, I can do whatever I want with it. I should not be forced to wear a mask for some virus that probably doesn't exist!" the lady exclaimed.

"Well that's illegal." Lucina muttered.

"GET OUT NOW!" the woman screamed.

"Suck our dicks, bitch." Shadow said flipping her off.

Upon hearing that, the woman grabbed Meta Knight and began running.

"She kidnapped Meta Knight!" Lucas cried.

"Wah! After them!" Waluigi ordered.

So lead by Waluigi, the gang did exactly that.

"geuge nuguya?" (Who's that?) Yoongi asked.

"Kalen," (A Karen,) Dark Pit quickly answered.

Surprisingly, the lady was very fast. Five minutes later, everyone was exhausted.

"We must *pant* keep *pant* going!" Sheik gasped.

"My legs won't *pant* pull me any *pant* further!" Cloud growled.

"Pichu chu!" Pichu whined.

Dark Pit head was starting to hurt. All he wanted to do was take a break from all the drama. And look what has happened!

That's when Waluigi noticed he was holding his karaoke machine. "Wah! The great Waluigi has a plan. Everyone stop running!"

Upon hearing that, everyone collapsed.

Waluigi turned his karaoke machine on full blast. Another familiar song started playing. Karen stopped running and turned around. 

"NO NO NO NOT THAT ONE!" she shrieked.

_"Wah! I still see your shadows in my room  
Can't take back the love that I gave you  
It's to the point where I love and I hate you  
And I cannot change you so I must replace you oh" (RIP Juice Wrld. Hope you're in a better place now)_

_Waluigi passed the microphone to Dark Pit who stared at it for a moment trying to figure out what this had to do with stopping Karen. But he continued the song anyways._

_"Easier said than done  
I thought you were the one  
Listening to my heart instead of my head,"_

He quickly gave the mic to Lucina who was on his left. Grinning, she took a deep breath and started to sing.

_"You found another one, but  
I am the better one  
I won't let you forget me"_

Next up was Lucas. And his voice was the most precious thing anyone has ever heard (Except Lucas himself).

_"I still see your shadows in my room  
Can't take back the love that I gave you  
It's to the point where I love and I hate you  
And I cannot change you so I must replace you (oh)"_

"STOP STOP STOP!" Karen cried covering her ears. Which was hard to do, considering the fact she was holding Meta Knight.

"Finish the whole verse," Waluigi hissed. Cloud rolled his eyes and sang reluctantly.

_"Easier said than done  
I thought you were the one  
Listening to my heart instead of my head  
You found another one, but  
I am the better one  
I won't let you forget me"_

"That doesn't even sound like singing!" Daisy laughed taking the mic.

_"You left me falling and landing inside my grave  
I know that you want me dead  
I take prescriptions to make me feel a-okay  
I know it's all in my head"_

"All together now!" Waluigi grinned.

_"I have these lucid dreams where I can't move a thing  
Thinking of you in my bed  
You were my everything  
Thoughts of a wedding ring  
Now I'm just better off dead  
I'll do it over again  
I didn't want it to end  
I watch it blow in the wind  
I should've listened to my friends  
Did this shit in the past  
But I want it to last  
You were made outta plastic (fake)  
I was tangled up in your drastic ways  
Who knew evil girls have the prettiest face?  
You gave me a heart that was full of mistakes  
I gave you my heart and you made heart break"_

"ENOUGH!" Karen roared interrupting the chorus. "Have your stupid monster! Just stop singing that black trash!"

"Racist!" Waluigi shot back as Karen threw Meta Knight back at them.

"Black lives matter bitch!" Lucina added, catching Meta Knight in her arms.

"That lady is loca," Meta Knight told her.

"Yoongi can sing?" Sheik suddenly asked.

Everyone turned to stare at Yoongi.

"Uh...bye bye!" he shouted before running away.

"I knew he can sing, Lil Meow Meow was just too shy about it!" Daisy chuckled.

"Lil Meow Meow?" Shadow echoed in confusion.

***TIME SKIP***

The next day, Dark Pit, Sheik and Lucina were laughing at a video of Yoongi getting beaten by Jin. With a sausage. Turns out when he was running away from the gang when they exposed him of singing, Jin had finally realized that Yoongi was back at Smash Mansion and snuck back to Florida to bring him back to Seoul. Successfully this time. 

"You feel better now?" Lucina asked between giggles.

"I'm doing much better so yeah," Sheik smiled.

"What about Robin? He still wants you out of the music industry." Dark Pit pointed out.

"Oh, I told Mother what was happening and she tied up Robin and is currently torturing him." Lucina explained shuddering.

"Your mom has a few screws loose..." Sheik muttered.

"Guys look!" Dark Pit said pointing to the screen. 

Jin shoved some rockets he had managed to obtain from the Mansion and shoved them down Yoongi's pants before blasting him through the ceiling. The three burst out laughing so hard they fell off the couch.

"You know, I kinda miss him already," Lucina sighed.

"Where was he staying anyways?" Dark Pit finally asked.

"He was hiding in Robin's room," Sheik answered. "Funny thing was, I heard these noises coming from in there."

"Do you think they fucked?"

Silence.

"Some questions are best left unanswered..." Lucina muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was over 3000 words. Worth it. BTS will be gone for now but trust me, they'll be back. Also, I'm sorry the fic is not being indented, Archive has issues.


	12. BONUS CHAPTER: Dope But It's A Cover By 10/S

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I made a full version of 10/S's cover of dope. That's it.

[IKE]  
Hey, first time with 10/S?

[SHULK]  
In Korean!

[IKE]  
You think I know Korean?!

[MARTH]  
Guys shush, the song's starting!

[LINK]  
Ayo ladies & gentleman  
Junbiga dwaettdamyeon bureulge yeah!  
Ttan nyeoseokdeulgwaneun dareuge  
Nae seutaillo nae nae nae nae seutaillo eo!

[MARTH]  
Bamsae ilhaettji everyday  
Niga keulleobeseo nol ttae yeah  
Ja nollaji malgo deureo maeil  
I got a feel, I got a feel

[ALL]  
Nan jom jjeoreo!

[ROBIN]  
A jjeoreo jjeoreo jjeoreo uri yeonseupsil ttamnae  
Bwa jjeoreong jjeoreong jjeoreonghan  
Nae chumi daphae  
Modu bisiri jjijiri jjingjjingi ttilttirideul  
Narangeun sanggwani eopseo  
Cuz nan huimangi jjeoreo haha

[DARK PIT]  
Ok urin meoributeo balkkeutkkaji jeonbu da  
Jjeo jjeoreo  
Haruui jeolbaneul jageobe jjeo jjeoreo  
Jageopsire jjeoreo sareo cheongchuneun sseogeogado  
Deokbune moro gado dallineun seonggonggado  
Sonyeodeura deo keuge sorijilleo jjeo jjeoreong

[SHULK]  
Bamsae ilhaettji everyday  
Niga keulleobeseo nol ttae yeah  
Ttan nyeoseokdeulgwaneun dareuge  
I don't wanna say yes  
I don't wanna say yes

[ROY/PIT]  
Sorichyeobwa all right  
Momi tabeoridorok all night (all night)  
Cause we got fire (fire!)  
Higher (higher!)  
I gotta make it, gotta gotta make it  
Jjeoreo!

[ALL]  
Geobuneun geobuhae  
Nan wonrae neomuhae  
Modu da ttara hae  
Jjeoreo

[ALL]  
Geobuneun geobuhae  
Jeonbu naui noye  
Modu da ttara hae  
Jjeoreo

[IKE]  
3posedae 5posedae  
geureom nan yukpoga joheunikka 6posedae  
eonrongwa eoreundeureun uijiga eopdamyeo uril ssak jusikcheoreom maedohae

[JOKER/IKE]  
Wae haebogido jeone jugyeo gyaenen (enemy enemy enemy)  
wae beolsseobuteo gogaereul sugyeo bada (energy energy energy)  
jeoldae ma pogi you know you not lonely  
neowa nae saebyeogeun najboda yeppeo  
So can I get a little bit of hope yeah  
jamdeun cheongchuneul kkaewo go

[SHULK]  
Bamsae ilhaettji everyday  
Niga keulleobeseo nol ttae yeah  
Ttan nyeoseokdeulgwaneun dareuge  
I don't wanna say yes  
I don't wanna say yes

[ROY/PIT]  
Sorichyeobwa all right  
Momi tabeoridorok all night (all night)  
Cause we got fire (fire!)  
Higher (higher!)  
I gotta make it, gotta gotta make it  
Jjeoreo!

[ALL]  
Geobuneun geobuhae  
Nan wonrae neomuhae  
Modu da ttara hae  
Jjeoreo!

[ALL]  
Geobuneun geobuhae  
Nan wonrae neomuhae  
Modu da ttara hae  
Jjeoreo!

[SHEIK]  
Ireon ge bangtan seutail  
Geojismal wackdeulgwaneun dalla  
Maeiri hustle life  
I gotta make it fire baby

[SHEIK}  
Ireon ge bangtan seutail  
Geojismal wackdeulgwaneun dalla  
Maeiri hustle life  
I gotta make it, I gotta make it  
Nan jom jjeoreo!

[LINK]  
Say what!

[MARTH]  
Say wo~ wo~

[SHULK]  
Say what!

[ALL]  
Jjeoreo!

**Author's Note:**

> Told you it was short. Any SamIke shippers out there? No? Just me? Welp. And as you can tell, I too am a nine year old with bonus years.


End file.
